


Love Can Only Heal (or Asus fix-it cause screw that mid season finale)

by capn_cecil_ang



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Fix-It, Gracie is sometimes really sassy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magna and Jesus should've been BFFs, Protective Aaron (Walking Dead), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, stubborn Jesus, swearing (occasional)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-04 11:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capn_cecil_ang/pseuds/capn_cecil_ang
Summary: Jesus survived that awful night at the cemetery, but he doesn't seem to understand that he should be taking it easy. Aaron is super protective of him, but he also has his own issues to deal with. Gracie just wants her daddy to be happy.





	1. Jesus

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be about 2,500 words long one-shot after that god-awful mid season finale. Seems like I'm just not capable of writing anything short. Also, I have no integrity. I am strictly against fix-its.... but this shit was really uncalled for so here we are.
> 
> Beta by my brother. We're both not native speakers though, so there still might be mistakes. He was beta reading it more story wise.

       He felt the surge of adrenaline all over his body as he was fighting and he loved every second of it. He could do this all night if he had to, kicking and slashing the undead was what he was living for. He bounced off of one of the dead and slashed through the skull of another. He swiftly turned and killed the first one, letting his sword slice through his skull like a knife through butter. He was a bit breathless but he felt the rush all over and wanted more. Only when he heard Aaron’s urgent voice calling for him to hurry, he returned back to reality. No matter how he loved being out here, smashing the skulls of the dead ones, he remembered they were all in grave danger and they had to get out of there immediately.

He made his way towards the gate where others were waiting. He noticed the two last walkers and sliced through one of them on his way pretty easily. When he made a move to slash through the other one, he suddenly realized he was slashing into thin air. He was unable to stop his movement anymore and fell over a bit. He had only a moment to notice the walker moved out of the way and then he felt someone grabbing him from behind and a sharp pain pierced through his chest. A shock flooded him and he froze, his eyes wide. The last thing he heard was Aaron’s desperate shout and the undead whispering something into his ear. Then the darkness enveloped him and he fell into the void.

 

       He was floating in the cold and dark place for what felt like eternity. Sometimes he imagined he heard voices or felt a brief warmth but he couldn’t quite reach towards it. He felt numb pain in his chest, but he couldn’t really feel the rest of his body. The nothingness seemed to be vast and never ending, pain was his only companion, stretching towards him. He desperately wanted out of this existence, but every time he felt like he found something to hold on to, he slipped right back into the empty darkness.

 

       The warmth was now more intense, he felt it like a ray of early sunshine on his skin. He heard noises, almost like voices, but couldn’t quite put them into words. The pain felt somehow duller, less intense than before. He tried to move, tried to open his eyes, but he still couldn’t quite feel his body. He heard someone calling his name. The voice was filled with tears. It was a familiar voice, he almost could picture the face of a man this voice belonged to, but the image kept slipping through his mind, into the emptiness. He heard him again, now clearly recognizing the words: “Please, wake up,” he said. He wanted to say something, to open his eyes, but couldn’t find the strength to. He felt the creeping cold again and slipped back into the void.

 

       “A few seconds later, Margaret was back in her bed, the covers pulled up to her chin despite the warm… warmth of the night. Her mouth was still ache… achingly dry, she realized. She had never managed to get a drink. Somehow she drifted into a rest…less sleep.” He heard the words clearly and loudly. But he couldn’t put the meaning to them. “Her alarm went off at seven-thirty. She sat up and thought about school. Then she remembered there was no school for the next two days because of some kind of teacher’s confidence…. sorry, conference.”

The voice belonged to little girl, that much he was sure off. She was reading to him. He knew the book she was reading, somewhere in the back of his mind he could remember what was about to happen next. But the girl’s voice, that he didn’t recognize.

He stirred a bit and noticed the girl suddenly stopped reading. He tried to move again and thought he felt his legs shift. He decided he’ll give it a try and opened his eyes. The light in the room was dim, as if it was way too late or way too early in the morning. His vision was blurred. He could see a blob of something yellow sitting next to him, but nothing more. He tried to focus a bit more, blinking few times, and his eyes cleared slightly.

He finally saw the features of the girl sitting next to him. She was blond, her semi-long hair loosely falling on her shoulders, her curious blue eyes fixed upon him. Book, still open, was in her hands, seemingly forgotten. He didn’t recognize her. He wasn’t sure if he knew her nor not, his head feeling strangely light and easy, almost like he was floating. He tried to speak, but only few hoarse syllables escaped his lips. He furrowed his brows, hand instinctively reaching up to his throat. He coughed slightly, trying to clear his throat and looked back at the little girl, still looking up at him, anticipating.

“I’m risking sounding really cheesy,” he said, his voice almost unrecognizable to his ears, “but are you an angel?”

Little girl broke into a full smile and laughed lightly, shaking her head. Her golden locks fell into her face. She tucked them behind her ears and said: “No, silly. I’m Gracie. I promised my daddy I’ll keep an eye on you while he’s gone.”

Jesus furrowed his brows again, looking at her properly. He still couldn’t place her anywhere in his memories. “Your… daddy?” he asked, confused.

“Yes,” she said. “We went to the fair in Kingdom together, but then we had to leave quickly. He told me to stay here, he said it was safer here than in home.” Her smile wavered slightly and her eyes darkened. “You know, he used to sit next to you really often, when he was here. But he had to leave now.” Now she was furrowing her brows properly, her innocence and joy suddenly gone. “He was crying a lot, when he was sitting here. And I don’t like seeing my daddy cry, because I know he’s sad.”

She looked him over, her stare strong and unwavering. “Sometimes he looks at me for a moment and I see he’s somewhere else in his mind. Sometimes I can also see tears in his eyes when he does it. I asked him once, what it is about me that makes him so sad. He said that I couldn’t remember it, because I was very little, but the day he found me, he also lost someone very special to him. And although he’s glad he has me, sometimes, when he looks at me, he sees him in me and that makes him sad. It makes him sad knowing, that I haven’t had a chance to know him, because he left us so soon.”

She fell silent for a while and Jesus thought about what she said. He was trying to figure out who was she talking about, he almost felt like he had it on the tip of his tongue, but he felt lightheaded and baffled.

“I don’t like you, you know,” she said suddenly and Jesus looked back at her, surprised. Her brows were still furrowed, her eyes fixed on him. “I don’t like you, because you make my daddy sad. But I know he would be even sadder if he lost you, so I promised him that I will keep an eye on you while he’s gone.” She looked at the book in her hands and showed him its cover. It was one of the Goosebumps books. “He said this was your favorite, but he also said it was too scary for me to read.” She closed the book and looked at him firmly. “I believe this should stay between us.”

Jesus looked at her dumbfounded and nodded slightly. The notion finally dawned on him and he had to smile to himself, because now, when he knew who she was, he could clearly see some resemblance to Aaron in her behavior. She grew so much since the last time he saw her.

“I should go get Doctor Enid,” Gracie said, standing up. “Don’t go anywhere while I’m gone.” she said firmly over her shoulder and left.

Jesus had to smile to himself. She reminded him of Aaron so much. Joyous, but also very serious when it came to people she cared about. And also very stubborn and always able to get what she wanted.

So this is it then, he thought. He’s back at Hilltop. But how he even got here? The last thing he remembered was him, Aaron, and Eugene being in that graveyard, trying to get Eugene out of there. There was a hoard that was following them all day. And there was something unusual about them, the way they were following them. Something… eerie.

And what was Gracie saying about the fair? It wasn’t supposed to happen for about another two weeks.


	2. Enid

       Enid opened the door to a medical trailer, feeling rather distraught. She saw Jesus lying in the bed and smiled faintly. “Good morning,” she said. “How do you feel?”

She could see, even in the dim morning light, that he still looked quite pale and gauntly.

“I’ve been better,” Jesus said, trying to sit up on his bed. His face screwed into a grimace of pain and he fell back to bed, breathless.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Enid said, coming closer to his bed with a mug of hot liquid in her hands. “You need to save your strength and keep resting. You are extremely lucky you’re not dead, so don’t underestimate your luck.”

She put the mug on the bedside table and leaned over Jesus, helping him get into the half sitting position. Then she took the mug and handed it to him. “Drink this. It should relieve you of some of the pain.”

Jesus took the mug, nursing it in his hands. He looked up at Enid, looking slightly confused. “What…” Jesus said, looking like he was struggling with words. “What happened?”

Enid sighed heavily and sat on the chair next to him. “What do you remember last?”

Jesus furrowed his brows and fell silent for a while. “Graveyard. Me fighting against the walkers. And then… nothing much, really.”

Enid was looking at him carefully, slightly concerned. “I already told you, you were extremely lucky. One of the dead ones, well, not the dead ones… shit,” she sighed, feeling her frustration building up. She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath.

“Ok, I should probably explain this first.” she said. “The walkers back at the backyard, not all of them were walkers. Some of them were people wearing walker skin masks,” she said, feeling disgusted again, as always when she thought about these people. “They call themselves Whisperers. And one of them got you real bad. Aaron said he thought you were dead at first, but then he noticed you were breathing, very shallowly, but breathing. They managed to get out of there, God knows how, and Daryl rushed you here on his bike.”

She fell silent for a while, looking him over. “You don’t even know how lucky you’ve been, Jesus. If that Whisperer’s knife went only few inches to the left, you’d be dead.”

“How long was I out?” he asked.

“Three weeks, give or take.” Enid said, her eyes saddening. “A lot happened during that time. We had a prisoner here, daughter of their leader, Lydia. They came for her, told us they’d leave us alone if we gave her to them, so we did. And they left us alone for a while. But then the fair happened…”

“A fair?” Jesus asked. “You attended?”

“I didn’t. Had to look after you.” she said, that faint smile appearing on her face again. “But almost everyone else did.” Her face softened as she said: “I practically had to drag Aaron out of here and force him to take Gracie to the fair, otherwise he’d be sitting here until now.”

“What happened there?” Jesus asked.

Enid didn’t respond for a while, feeling uneasy again. Then she took a long breath and started: “Henry… he decided to go find Lydia. I don’t know what he thought he was doing. He crossed over to their land. You know, they are extremely territorial,” she sighed and tried to fight back the tears. “There were casualties. A lots of them… I… I’m sorry, I can’t talk about it… it’s just too fresh.”

Jesus reached to hold Enid’s hand for comfort and she gladly accepted it. She wiped out her tears with her free hand and looked at Jesus again.

“I’m sorry. I should be stronger, it’s just…”

“It’s ok.” Jesus said.

“It’s not,” Enid shook her head. “It shouldn’t be. We’ve already lost so much. I’ve lost so much…”

“Enid,” Jesus said softly. “Is Alden alright?”

Enid bowed her head, tears flooding her eyes. She wasn’t able to answer, but she knew Jesus didn’t need her to. She felt him squeezing her hand more firmly and his soft voice saying: “I’m so sorry.”

She wasn’t able to talk for a while, only sobbing, her whole body shaking. She didn’t say it out loud yet, it still felt like a dream, like something out of this reality. She still couldn’t believe it, waking up at night expecting him to lie next to her, or turning around, imaging she heard his voice.

“We,” she choked back on her tears, “we buried him a week ago. Aaron and Daryl went out to scout, gather as much information about them as possible. They left… I don’t even know, four days ago?”

She looked up and met with Jesus’ eyes. “I just feel so tired of losing people, you know.” she said. “If one of them won’t make it back I just… I don’t know.”

“I know,” Jesus said, his voice faltering a bit. He squeezed her hand again, giving her whatever comfort he was able to give her right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for killing off Alden. It was fifty fifty decision if I should do it but in the end I did it. My brother was incredibly mad at me because of that lmao. Didn't even know he liked Alden so much :D Anyway, if you are also a fan of Alden, I'm sorry ♥


	3. Tara

       Tara was busy with managing Hilltop’s residents, keeping them calm, and preparing them for potential conflict. She wasn’t able to find time to visit Jesus up until the third day he was awake. She walked into the infirmary late in the afternoon, holding a basket of fresh fruit.

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” she said in greeting when she made her way to Jesus’ bed and sat a gift basket on the nightstand.

“Hey,” Jesus said, lifting his head from the book he was reading.

“I see you’re quite well already, since your nose is buried in the book again,” she laughed slightly. “Sorry for not coming sooner, but I’m glad I can keep my head on my shoulders these days. Also, residents of Hilltop send you kind regards and this gift basket. Everyone is eagerly awaiting the second coming.”

“Haha, very funny,” Jesus smiled.

“Well, it has been three days, just saying.” Tara shrugged and sat on the stool next to him.

“You are awfully cheery considering the situation we are in,” Jesus said, putting his book aside and propping himself up into half sitting position. He winced slightly and Tara reached over to help him, but he waved her off.

“Well, you know me,” Tara said, leaning back again. “My coping mechanism is sarcasm. But for reals, I’m glad you pulled through.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jesus smiled a small smile and took an apple from the basket.

“Aaron three,” Tara said and carefully watched Jesus for reaction. He seemed to get taken aback slightly, but didn’t show anything else.

“You know he was here almost the whole time you were recovering, right?” she asked.

“I’ve been told, yeah,” Jesus said. “Gracie is coming here every day. I help her with homework and we read together.”

“Aww, look at you, already a family.” Tara smiled and this time she thought she saw a slight blush under Jesus’ unkempt beard.

Jesus cleared his throat and bit into an apple. After a while he asked, changing the subject: “How is everyone holding up?”

“What can I say…? I assume Enid caught you up on the latest events?”

Jesus nodded.

“Cool… well, of course everyone’s shaken up. But we’re doing our best to not get totally paranoid. I honestly don’t know what is happening in Alexandria to be honest.” she sighed and shook her head. “We managed to persuade Michonne and Alexandrians to attend the fair. But since that was a complete disaster… after everything, she just packed and left, leaving us without their support. Aaron and Gracie stayed, everyone else went back to Alexandria though. We haven’t really heard from them since… although we’re trying to reach out.”

“That’s not how it was supposed to be.” Jesus muttered, furrowing his brows.

“No, it wasn’t. But it happened anyway. Maybe it would happen either way. All I know is that it’s what it is and we have to deal with it now.”

“Yeah,” Jesus nodded again, looking like he was lost in his own thoughts.

“You alright there?” Tara asked, concerned.

“Yeah, sorry, just got a bit carried away there,” Jesus smiled slightly.

“Your beard needs trimming,” Tara changed the subject, not really wanting to dwell on the unfortunate events of the last couple of weeks.

“Tell me about it. I must look terrible.” Jesus laughed.

“Well,” Tara smirked. “No but seriously. Enid told me she’ll get you up in the evening and wash you. And if you will feel alright in the morning, we want to move you into Barrington House tomorrow. Aaron and Daryl are supposed to return any time now and when they do, we have to be prepared for anything.” she sighed and paused for a moment. “I think we’re going to another war. So you know, we need all the space in the infirmary we can get.”

“Right,” Jesus nodded and looked Tara in the eyes. “It’s gonna be alright though. You know that, right?”

Tara smiled, trying to believe his words. “If Jesus says so,” she smirked.


	4. Aaron

       It was shortly after sunset when Daryl, Aaron, and dog stepped through the gates of Hilltop. They were filthy, battered, and completely exhausted. The residents just finished their communal dinner and they’ve been cleaning the place up. When Tara and Enid noticed them, they separated from the group and made their way towards two men.

“So glad to see you guys,” Tara exclaimed as she approached them.

“What happened?” Enid asked, her voice full of concern, when she flicked her eyes to Aaron’s face.

Aaron instinctively reached towards his face to touch the gaping wound on his forehead. “Oh it’s nothing,” he said.

“Let me be the judge of that,” Enid said with a slight frown. “Come on, you’re going with me to infirmary,” she said, her voice resolute.

Tara looked at Aaron sympathetically and shrugged. “Doctor’s orders. Meet us in the Barrington House after that. Daryl can start with debrief in the meantime.”

“Alright,” Aaron resigned and followed Enid to the infirmary trailer. The only thing he wanted right now was to get into shower and wash away the filth of the last couple of days, but he knew it was pointless to fight Enid on this. And the truth was that the wound was stinging a bit. He hoped it wasn’t infected.

As they were making their way to infirmary, Aaron remembered Jesus was in there. Or at least he hoped he was still there. He was too afraid to ask Enid about him, fearing what her answer might be. But it didn’t matter now, because just in few moments he’s going to see how Jesus is doing on his own two eyes.

The closer they were to infirmary, the more nervous Aaron felt. His stomach flipped when they reached the door and suddenly he didn’t really want to step in. Enid disappeared in the door however and he knew it won’t be long before she comes back, questioning why he’s not following her. And Aaron really didn’t want to answer that question.

He took a deep breath and stepped into the trailer, bracing himself for any possible outcome. What he saw however, took him completely by surprise. Aaron froze in the doorway, his eyes fixed on the empty bed in the corner of the trailer – bed where Jesus lied just before Aaron left. The bed was made and clean; it was obvious no one slept in it for few days now. Aaron felt his heart in his throat and his stomach clenched painfully. He felt like a cry was dragging out of his throat, but he couldn’t find a voice to let it out.

Suddenly, seemingly sounding like from the great distance, Enid’s voice said: “Oh shit, no. It’s not how it looks like, Aaron.”

He heard Enid’s footsteps approaching and felt her hands on his shoulders, but he still wasn’t able to turn his gaze away from the empty bed.

“He’s ok,” Enid said, comfortingly. “Aaron, Jesus is ok.”

Aaron finally looked at Enid and he saw in her eyes that she was telling the truth.

“He was better and I thought I might need the space in upcoming days so we moved him into the Barrington House.” she said.

“Oh,” was everything Aaron was able to get out of himself.

“Yeah, sorry. I… I should have told you before we came here. I completely forgot.”

“He… he’s awake?” Aaron asked, feeling his body relaxing again slowly.

“Yeah… it’s been five days now. He still needs to save his strength as much as he can, but he’ll be fine if he doesn’t strain himself too much.”

Aaron felt relief wash over him and suddenly he felt a great sense of gratitude towards Enid. After all, she and Siddiq were the ones who saved Jesus’ life.

Enid smiled knowingly and said. “He’s going to be alright, you’ll see. Now, let’s get this patched up.” She said as she pointed at Aaron’s forehead.

She led him towards the stool, next to one of the beds and sat him down. Then she proceeded to look for alcohol and bandages.

“How did it happen?” she asked as she was looking for her tools and putting them one by one next to Aaron on the table.

“I… don’t really want to talk about that,” Aaron said, feeling a slight blush creeping up his face.

“Ok, look,” Enid said, giving him a stern look. “I don’t really care what you’ve been doing. But I need to know the details so I know you didn’t get scratched by a walker or even worse, something sharp and metallic. I don’t think your tetanus shot from before would still apply.”

 Aaron sighed and looked at her unsurely. “You’re not going to talk about it with anyone though, are you?”

“Doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“Fine,” Aaron shrugged. “We’ve been running from the herd. It was night and raining. We couldn’t see much, we ran into the woods and…” Aaron sighed again, looking away from Enid. “This is embarrassing.” he said. “I stumbled and made an acquaintance with a nasty huge tree branch.”

Corners of Enid’s mouth twitched a bit, but she regained her professionality very quickly. “You’re lucky it didn’t pluck out your eye.”

“Oh Enid, always the optimist.” Aaron smiled slightly. “But I might look even cooler then… one hand and one eye.”

“Oh yeah, real Mister Apocalypse.” Enid laughed and prepared the solution for cleaning the wound.

“This might sting quite a lot,” she said. “Think happy thoughts.”

And the first thing that came into Aaron’s mind was that he was glad Jesus was ok.

 

       After Aaron left the infirmary, he aimed it right into the Barrington House and to the meeting with Tara and Daryl. Daryl already caught Tara up on the essentials in the meantime, but they still had to go over the plan together. They ended up discussing their situation until late at night, all three of them half falling asleep on their feet.

“Alright,” Tara said, trying to suppress a yawn. “I think we can’t come up with anything better guys. We’re heading out tomorrow at the first sunlight. Go get yourself cleaned up and get some rest. You’ll definitely need it.”

Daryl aimed for the door and was about to open it, when the door flew open, almost hitting him in the face and Gracie in her pajama and with stuffed bunny in one hand ran into the room.

“Daddy, you’re here,” she exclaimed as she ran to Aaron’s arms. Aaron smiled a big smile and knelt down to hug his daughter.

“Hey sweetheart,” he said softly as he hugged her with his prosthetic arm and patted her hair with other hand. “Why are you up?”

“I woke up and saw aunt Tara wasn’t in the room,” she said. “So I went to look for her and Kal told me you’re back. Are you ok?” she pointed at the bandage on his forehead.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a small bump.” Aaron said and he heard Daryl snickering from beside the doorway. He glared at the other man briefly and then looked back at his daughter.

“You should be sleeping, Gracie,” he scolded her.

“I wanted to see you,” Gracie pouted slightly, clinging closer to Aaron.

“I know,” he smiled and shot a glance to Tara.

She mouthed “sorry” and laughed slightly.

“Come on now, we’re going to get you back in bed. I’m going to be there soon too.” Aaron said and took Gracie by the hand, leading her out of the room.

“I have so much to tell you, daddy. I’ve been looking after Jesus, as I promised. I didn’t like him from the start, but he’s not so bad. He helps me with homework and we read together. I think you’ll be happy when you see him. He looks so much better now than when he was sleeping.”

“I uhm,” Aaron tried to process all the information his daughter just told him, “that’s great.” he said finally. “I’m sure to go see him in the morning before I leave.”

“You’re leaving again?” Gracie said, stopping in her tracks and looking up to Aaron with her big blue eyes.

Aaron sighed. “Yes, sweetheart. And I’m sorry. But I’m doing it so you could be safe.”

“I know,” Gracie said and launched into another hug.

Aaron picked her up and she rested her head on his shoulder, hugging him tightly.

“I know you’ll be fine, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be worried about you.” she mumbled.

Aaron smiled and whispered: “I’m going to be back as soon as possible. I promise.”

“I know,” Gracie sighed, her voice tired.  “And don’t worry. I’ll look after Jesus some more in the meantime.”

They walked out of the room, Gracie slowly falling asleep in Aaron’s arms, her bunny hanging loosely from her left hand.

 

       Aaron was sitting on his bed, prepared to leave. He was just putting on his prosthetic hand, struggling to strap it on in the dimly lit room, when a sleepy voice said: “You’re leaving already?”

Aaron looked up from his hand and to the opposite site of a small room. Gracie was propped on her shoulder, her eyes still half closed, her hair tousled from sleep.

“You should be sleeping, sweetheart,” Aaron said with a warm smile.

“I wanted to see you before you leave,” Gracie said, yawning and climbing out of the bed.

Aaron finally strapped on his prosthetics and waited for Gracie to come to him. She climbed up on his lap and he hugged her tightly.

“Don’t worry, Gracie. I’ll be back really soon.”

“When will you stop leaving, daddy?” Gracie asked, her voice filled with tears.

“I wish I didn’t have to go,” Aaron sighed. “But I must. We talked about it.”

“I know,” Gracie said and pulled herself even closer to Aaron. “I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, honey bunny,” Aaron said and closed his eyes, trying to suppress his own tears as he was gently rocking Gracie.

He hated leaving Gracie all the time, especially since he knew he might not be coming back. That was the main reason he asked Jesus to train him in the first place. He had to be out there sometimes, but he also knew he was a huge liability with only one hand. He had to get used to this handicap of his for a long time. It made even the easiest chore a difficulty. But he knew he would feel better if he was the part of people keeping Alexandria safe, keeping his daughter safe. And so one time when he went to Hilltop with Eugene, Rosita, and Siddiq, to trade with the community, he found Jesus at his kids’ class. He watched the man moving flawlessly and effectively, with exact precision, and he found himself not able to stop staring at him. The efficiency of Jesus’ movements was mesmerizing. It wasn’t long and Jesus noticed him staring, breaking into huge smile. He waved at him and Aaron finally came to his senses, waving back and blushing slightly. 

They didn’t see each other for few months back then and he knew Jesus always liked it when Alexandrians came to visit. When his class ended, he came up to Aaron and they started to chat. Between catching up on the news from communities and discussing business, a notion sparked in Aaron’s head. He confided to Jesus about his lack of confidence in self-defense, trying to convey his request, but finding it hard to express it properly. Jesus, seemingly reading Aaron’s mind, proposed to train him right away. They arranged their first meeting right there and then, not one of them knowing that these meet ups would become so satisfactory to both of them. It was much later that Aaron found out why was Jesus so eager to train him. Guess they both were in desperate need to be out there from time to time. And slowly, without any of them realizing it, it became a habit none of them wanted to break.

Aaron, lost in his thoughts, realized that Gracie fell asleep again. He picked her up gently and put her back to bed, covering her and kissing her forehead. He hated to leave her again, but he knew that if he didn’t, one day he won’t have her to come back to.

He took his stuff and left the room quietly, careful not to wake Gracie up again.

He walked down to infirmary, because Enid told him she wanted to see his wound before he leaves today. She checked him up and gave him her approval. The wound wasn’t that serious. It was quite deep but she managed to clean it properly and it should heal in few days.

Aaron stepped out of the infirmary and saw Daryl rounding up the recruits. He couldn’t see Tara anywhere and it looked like Daryl will spend yet few minutes trying to get everyone in line. He didn’t want to leave before visiting Jesus and so he thought about going back to Barrington House, but then an idea sparked in his head. Instead he aimed behind the infirmary trailer and into Enid’s garden. He scanned the garden and immediately found what he was looking for. He picked a handful of blue flowers and aimed it back into the Barrington House. In the house he found a small vase and put the flowers in it, filling it with water. He then made his way into Jesus’ room and quietly walked in. He assumed the other man will be sleeping, the sun wasn’t even properly up yet, but he still wanted to at least see him.

Aaron closed the door behind him and turned to look at the figure in bed. The room was lit only by the early sunlight so there wasn’t much to see. He saw the man lying peacefully in the bed, breathing steadily. Aaron made his way towards the bed to get a better look at his friend. Jesus was sleeping, as Aaron expected, looking at peace and relaxed. He looked better than when Aaron left Hilltop. He still looked weak but he had more color in his face and he was breathing peacefully. Aaron smiled slightly and moved even closer to bed to put the flowers on the nightstand next to it. As he put the vase down, it made a quiet thud as the glass touched the wood.

“How long have you been here?” a voice startled Aaron and he looked towards the bed only to see Jesus’ bright blue eyes looking at him.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Didn’t want to wake you up,” Aaron said, trying to compose himself.

“That’s alright,” Jesus said. “I’m a light sleeper.” he tried and started to sit up. Aaron immediately leaned in to help him get into the comfortable position.

“Thanks,” Jesus sighed when he sat up properly.

Aaron smiled. “Me and Daryl, we’ve just got in last night. I wanted to come yesterday but there was much to discuss with Tara and I had to visit Enid too.”

“You alright?” Jesus asked, pointing at Aaron’s forehead.

“Yeah, just a scratch, really.” Aaron waved him off and Jesus nodded. Then he looked at the vase at his nightstand and smiled.

“Flowers?” he raised his eyebrows.

Aaron rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling quite nervous. “Well yeah… I thought… someone once told me that blue color inspires strength and healing.”

Jesus let his gaze linger on Aaron’s face, a soft smile on his face. “Thank you,” he said after a while.

“Yeah that’s… don’t mention it.” Aaron said, trying to sound casual.

The door behind Aaron opened suddenly and someone walked into the room.

“Enid sent me with your morning pills, Jesus,” Tara’s voice echoed and suddenly her footsteps faltered.

“Oh my God!” he voice changed a tone, as she exclaimed. “I can’t believe it took this long for you two to happen. Finally!”

“Tara, this isn’t–” Aaron started but Tara cut him off. “Oh maybe not yet. But just look at you two. And I’ve been just telling Jesus how alike you are. You’re both stubborn as mules and have giant brass balls on you.”

Jesus laughed heartily. “Tara, you are the absolute worst.”

“Oh don’t you tell me guys you’ve never considered it,” she said, eyeing them up suspiciously.

“I should go,” Aaron said, feeling heat coming up his cheeks again. “Uhm, get well soon.” he said towards Jesus and aimed it for the door.

He could yet hear Tara mutter under her breath: “I rest my case.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you how incredible salty I am that infirmary scene (one of my favorite scenes from the comics) will never happen on the show >:( I spent weeks thinking about suitable character on the show who could take on Alex' role from the comics and say the iconic "giant brass balls" line :D If it was ever going to happen, it definitely would have been Tara saying it. Well, there goes my re-imaginiation of that scene, how it could have happened on the show....


	5. Gracie

       Gracie was in the outdoor kitchen area, just finishing chopping the carrots and throwing them into an enormous cauldron in the huge fireplace. She put the cutting board in the wooden basin with other dirty dishes for someone to rinse them later in the nearby stream. She turned around and looked at Claire, a middle-aged woman with warm smile and kind eyes.

“What else can I help you with, ma’am?” she asked, eagerness in her voice. She liked helping Claire in the kitchen, especially now, when Aaron was out again. She needed to distract herself somehow so she was trying to do as many things in one day as possible, anything to stop her from worrying.

“Well, dearie,” Claire said, smiling softly, “I’m afraid this will be it. Now it’s all about waiting for the dinner to be ready.”

“Oh,” Gracie said, a bit disappointed. “So… what should I do now?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Claire said, smiling widely. “I think the pie should be about done. Why don’t you go and bring a slice to Jesus? You haven’t visited him today yet, have you?”

Gracie shrugged, rolling her eyes. “No, not yet. Ok, I guess I can do that.” she sighed, annoyed.

Claire frowned a bit. “Is everything ok, Gracie?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s great,” Gracie smiled a wide smile, but in her heart she knew she was faking it. She just didn’t feel like confiding to Claire. Not that she didn’t like her. But she knew she wouldn’t understand.

She waited for Claire to take the pecan pie out of the stone oven and to cut two pieces out of it, placing them on the plate. She took the plate carefully and said goodbye to Claire.

“See you at dinner, Gracie,” Claire called after her.

“Maybe you’ll see both of us,” Gracie called out, not even sure why she said it. She knew Jesus can’t be strolling around the Hilltop just yet.

 

       Gracie made her way into the Barrington house and up the stairs, aroma of freshly baked pecan pie following her, filling out the inside of the house. She came to Jesus’ room shortly and stopped to knock. She didn’t hear anything and for a moment she thought he might be resting. She thought about leaving and maybe coming back later, maybe not at all. But then she looked at the plate in her hands and imagined how she’d have to explain to Claire why she returned with the pie untouched. She decided she’ll walk in, and if Jesus will be sleeping, she can just put the pie on his bedside table and leave. There’s no harm in it. She almost wished he was sleeping. She didn’t feel like talking to him. In fact, he was the last person she wanted to talk to right now.

Gracie walked into the room quietly and closed the door behind her. She turned to face the bed, but found it empty, sheets sloppily uncovered. She frowned and scanned the room. The room was big, with massive historical furniture in it, but it wasn’t as big she wouldn’t notice a person in it. And yet she couldn’t see Jesus anywhere. Suddenly she heard someone calling her name.

“In here, Gracie,” she heard Jesus’ voice. “I’m at balcony.”

Gracie looked towards the balcony and she saw Jesus standing in the doorway, smiling at her.

“How did you…?” she started, but then stopped herself. She only shook her head and sighed, knowing it was pointless to question the man in front of her. He was stubborn, almost as stubborn as she was. And frankly, she was surprised it took him this long to get agitated and try to leave the bed.

“Did you get there all by yourself?” she asked as she was making her way towards him.

“With a little help of the furniture,” Jesus smirked. “Is that a pecan pie?” he asked, his eyes widening. “I could smell it right when you came in.”

“Yes, Claire and I made it,” Gracie said, feeling proud.

She walked to the balcony and sat the pie at the round table. Then she sat down on one of the chairs and waited for Jesus to sit on another.

She prepared for the conversation about her dad being gone, but it never came. Instead Jesus asked her about everything else and she was thankful for that. They talked about her time spent with Claire, what was her favorite food to cook or bake, how was she doing in school, if she had any homework today, what was she doing after school, all of the little things that let her forget about her worry for a while and let her be the kid again.

They were eating the pie and chatting, enjoying each other’s company, completely forgetting about the fact that this morning half of the community left for a fight most of them might not be coming back from.

They were just discussing Gracie’s progress in reading, when a dinner bell rang and they both got a bit startled. They looked at each other and broke into a laughter, finding it funny how on edge this whole time they were, anticipating something wrong must happen in the back of their minds. When they realized how irrational their fears were, they relaxed a bit.

“So, do you want to surprise everyone and come down to dinner with me?” Gracie asked, eying Jesus carefully.

Jesus smiled slightly. “You know what,” he said. “Since Tara isn’t here to chastise me for leaving the bed, why not.”

Gracie laughed slightly and stood up, holding up a hand for Jesus to hold. Jesus accepted it and with a bit of difficulty he stood up too.

“You know Enid’s still gonna be mad at you though,” she said as she helped him to get across the balcony and to the room.

“I think I can handle that.”

They made it out of the room without bigger problems, but there was one thing Gracie didn’t took into the account. While they were in the room, Jesus could support his weight not only on her, but also on nearby furniture. But when they walked out into the hallway, there was no furniture, just a wall. Gracie stole a brief glance at Jesus, suddenly not feeling so confident in her abilities to get him all the way to the stairs. Jesus had a determined look on himself though, so she thought he’s probably alright. She squeezed his hand more tightly, trying to give him as much support as possible. They walked, Gracie supporting Jesus on one side, Jesus supporting himself against the wall on the other side. The hallway, normally so short, seemed now endless in Gracie’s eyes. When they reached the place where the banister started, Jesus told her he needs a break. She let him lean against the banister and stood close by, just in case. She looked at him, concerned.

“I think I might have overestimated my strength,” Jesus chuckled slightly, visibly breathless.

“We don’t need to go down,” Gracie said, a sudden feeling of sadness striking her intensively.

She grew to like Jesus in those last few days and she liked spending time with him. It felt nice, having someone this close, when her dad was away. Sure she liked both Tara and Enid, but they both had too little time on their hands and she knew when not to disturb them. There were also other kids, with who Gracie liked spending her free time with. But spending time with Jesus was different. They had their own private reading ritual, which usually turned into chatting and discussing whatever came to their minds. And their time was just theirs, no-one else’s. Very soon Gracie found out that she could also confide in Jesus. He seemed to understand her worries about Aaron and he always knew what to say to her when she was down.

When she saw him today at the balcony, the sudden concern about him was very quickly replaced by happiness. She was glad he was getting better and she couldn’t wait for him to get on his feet. She knew about his martial arts class from other kids and he promised he’ll teach her too when he’ll be able to get up. She couldn’t wait to be able to spend time with him even outside the walls of Barrington House. But now it seemed like it might be some time before he’ll be able to get out there.

She looked up at Jesus, who was still leaning against the banister, breathing heavily.

“You want to go back to your room?” she asked, anxiously.

Jesus looked at her and she could swore she saw sadness in his eyes too. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “I think I’m not entirely ready for this yet.”

Gracie smiled faintly. “And you think you can do it? Going back I mean?”

Jesus glanced towards the hallway and his room, sighing heavily. “I’m sure I can do it with such a great helper as you are.” he smiled at her sweetly and in this moment Gracie felt a surge of love for this man.

They made it back into Jesus’ room and Gracie helped him into bed. She stayed there for a while, looking at him with concern. It seemed like that little trip really took a lot of strength out of him. She told him she’ll ask Enid to come and check on him later, but she’ll hold back the exact nature of Jesus’ discomfort. Jesus was thankful to her and promised her he won’t spill the beans either. She said she’ll come back again after dinner with some food for him. He needs strength and energy. And tomorrow, tomorrow they can practice a bit more. Step by step they’ll get him into the shape and then, when Aaron will come back, they may be even able to go to greet him outside.

 

       It was deep night, long after dinner, and Gracie was sleeping in the bed all by herself in the small room she shared with her dad. Normally, if Aaron wasn’t around, Tara would look after her and Gracie would sleep in Tara’s room. But she was also gone now. Sure they left Gracie with a babysitter, Mrs. O’Brien, but Gracie didn’t like her very much. She was old and half deaf and her room smelled weird. So when the old lady fell asleep, which was quite shortly after dinner, Gracie snuck out and went to her room. She climbed into Aaron’s bed instead of hers for comfort and solace. She was reading until her eyes started to close slowly and then she fell asleep.

Now she was sleeping soundlessly, her bunny tucked under her chin. But soon she started to fidget in her sleep, dark thoughts enveloping her. Her peaceful face creased, her brows furrowed as she muttered something in her sleep, her grasp over the stuffed toy tightening. The drops of sweat appeared on her forehead and she started to breathe quicker. She tossed herself on the other side and her covers slid down her shoulders to her waist. The cool breeze of the spring night caressed her skin and Gracie woke up, bolting upright into the sitting position. She was breathing fast, her eyes wide, her whole body shaking. She felt the tears streaming down her face and she forced herself to look around the tiny dark room. It was empty, almost too empty.

Her stomach did a nervous flip as she looked at the floor next to the bed. There was nothing but her slippers there. Or was it? Her dream thoughts leaked into the reality and she suddenly couldn’t shake the feeling that something might have been under her bed. She tightened her grip on her bunny and with other hand she blindly reached for the book she was reading before falling asleep. She knew she won’t be able to sleep in this room anymore. She glanced at the slippers again, considering if she should put them on or not. She decided not to. She only needed to jump out of bed and make it to the door and she’ll be safe.

She took a deep breath and pictured her actions in her mind. Imagination is the half of success, she muttered under her breath, remembering the quote she read somewhere. She didn’t quite understood it back then, but she felt like she did now.

She bolted out of the bed and made a dash for the door. She made it out of the room, hastily closing the door behind her and made her way down the hallway, knowing the path by heart.

She stepped into the big room, illuminated by the faint moonlight. She carefully walked towards the giant bed and climbed in, sitting cross-legged on the covers.

“Hey,” she whispered. “Wake up.”

Man in the bed, lying on his side, murmured something and pulled back a long brown hair that fell into his face while he slept. He opened his eyes and slowly a realization dawned upon him.

“Gracie?” Jesus said, his voice still sleepy. “What are you doing here?”

“I can’t sleep,” Gracie said, still trembling a bit. “I had a nightmare and… and I think there might be something under my bed.”

Jesus opened his eyes fully and tucked his hair behind his ear. He propped himself on the shoulder and looked at Gracie carefully. “ _Is there_ something under your bed?”

“I don’t think so,” Gracie said unsurely. “I probably shouldn’t have read you that book. Daddy was right. It was too scary for me.” she said, her eyes starting to fill with tears. “And now he’s gone again. And I was all alone in that room, and….” she trailed off and started sobbing quietly.

“It’s ok,” Jesus said and sat up in the bed. He pulled Gracie close and hugged her, stroking her hair gently.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Gracie said into Jesus’ chest as her tears were soaking through his shirt heavily.

“You don’t have to,” Jesus said soothingly. “You can stay here, if you want to. Bed’s big enough.”

“Thank you,” Gracie said in between sobs. “Can you… can you maybe read to me? I don’t think I’m going to sleep anyway.”

Jesus smiled and brushed off a stray hair from Gracie’s forehead. “Of course I can.”

Jesus carefully moved so he was sitting with his back towards the bedhead and let Gracie lean against his chest, curling up as close as possible. He covered them both for warmth and comfort and picked up a book Gracie came with to him.

He opened it on the page where a bookmark was and started to read: “One day Roy found something that looked like what the other penguins were hatching and he brought it to their nest. It was only a rock, but Silo carefully sat on it. And sat… And sat. When Silo got sleepy, he slept. And when Silo was done sleeping and sitting, he swam and Roy sat. Day after day Silo and Roy sat on the rock. But nothing happened.”

Jesus stopped momentarily and closed the book to look at the cover. “Where did you get this?” he asked.

“I found it in the library. Someone must have brought it back from outside lately.” Gracie said, her voice sleepy. “I think it’s my favorite book right now.” she said, nuzzling even closer to Jesus.

“I can probably see why,” Jesus said softly.

“Will you continue?” she asked, her eyes closed.

“Right, sorry,” Jesus said, composing himself. “Then Mr. Gramzay got an idea. He found and egg that needed to be cared for, and he brought it to Roy and Silo’s nest. Roy and Silo knew just what to do.”


	6. Jesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got heavily inspired with comic events at this point so I guess this is comic book spoiler warning for y'all, just in case.

       It didn’t take long and Gracie was soundly asleep in Jesus’ arms. When he noticed she drifted off, he put the book down at the bedside table and carefully maneuvering himself and Gracie, he lied down. He started to fall asleep almost immediately. His little trip with Gracie today drained a lot of his energy. And although Gracie came back after dinner with some food to replenish it, even then he felt quite tired and he decided to call it a night quite early. Just before he went to sleep Enid came to visit him. He had to confess his trip to balcony at least, there was no point in hiding that. She wasn’t thrilled when she heard he was out of the bed, especially when he was alone in the room, but she let it slide. She gave him some painkillers and herbal tea and told him to rest. Her exact words were, that he should be up and about only and only if it’ll be question of life and death. And even then he should consider if someone else isn’t able to handle it. Maybe that’s not such a bad idea, he thought to himself as he was slowly falling asleep again. He pulled up the covers and protectively wrapped one hand over Gracie, drifting off almost immediately.

 

       Jesus felt something was wrong before he was fully awake. He heard faraway noises and felt the room was very warm. He stirred in his sleep and slowly came to his senses. It took him a minute to realize where he was and who was the small bundle lying next to him. He felt the heat radiating from the window and when he looked over, he froze. The outside of the Hilltop was on fire. And it wasn’t just small pyres as the ones Saviors used once to send them a message. It looked like the whole of the Hilltop was burning.

It was at this moment Jesus started to recognize the sounds he was hearing. It was people screaming and calling for help and other voices calling for others to get up and get out of the house. Injury or not, he knew what he had to do. And he was sure Enid will understand.

He stood up, way too quickly for the state he was in and his head spun. He got dizzy and had to steady himself, so he wouldn’t fall over. When he felt like he was able to stand up and walk without fainting, he leaned in and shook Gracie’s shoulder. She was immediately up, her big blue eyes staring up at him.

“What’s happening?” she asked, her voice innocent.

“We have to leave, Gracie. Right now,” Jesus said, trying not let the panic he felt seep into his voice. “You have to be brave right now and come with me.”

Gracie propped herself up and looked around the room. Her eyes widened even more and she lost all the color in her cheeks.

“Gracie, look at me,” Jesus said soothingly.

She tightened her grip on her stuffed bunny and looked back at Jesus. “Ok,” Jesus breathed out. “You have to be brave now, ok?” he repeated and waited for her to respond. Gracie nodded slightly, her eyes showing she was trying her hardest.

“Ok,” Jesus said, trying to think on his feet. “Come, I’ll get us out of here.”

He pulled Gracie into his arms, feeling his stitches stretching. He cursed under his breath and felt a bit dizzy again. He was about to make his way towards the balcony when a fiery arrow hit the window and smashed it to pieces. The arrow landed on the floor near the balcony door and the curtain immediately caught on fire.

“There goes our way out,” Jesus muttered, looking around the room.

Gracie was holding him around the neck tightly, her fingers digging into Jesus’s skin, but he wasn’t paying attention to it. He was about to walk around the bed and to the door out of the room when Gracie called out: “Wait! The book. Please take it with us.”

Her voice was desperate and filled with so much sorrow it pained Jesus, but he didn’t let it show. He had to be strong now, for both of them. He turned around and took the book from the bedside table. Then he aimed it for the door, the heat in the room getting too unbearable and the smoke clouding his way. Before he stepped out of the room, with Gracie in his arms, he remembered the bandana he kept in the drawer of the nightstand. He pulled the drawer open and took out a black cloth. He handed it to Gracie and said: “Here. Put it over your mouth and breathe into it. And close your eyes. The smoke might be worse in the hallway.”

It turned out to be true. When he opened the door to hallway he was struck with the wave of heat and sounds of creaking and breaking wood. He heard people panicking, trying to get out and he could see some figures clouded in smoke, trying to find their way out.

“Everyone!” he shouted. “This way. Hug the left wall and go left. The stairway is near you.”

The smoke got into his throat as he shouted and he started to cough, trying his best to both not lose his footing and not drop Gracie. He saw the silhouettes of people changing their way towards the staircase and he felt a slight relief, but then a huge log of wood fell down next to him and he felt Gracie tensing up in his arm, leaving out a slight whimper. He did as he told to others. He moved slowly alongside the left wall, trying to move as low and as quickly as he was physically able to. He was confident he’ll make his way towards the stairs without any problems. After all, he already underwent this route once today. Although he felt feeble and he was getting struck by occasional waves of dizziness, he made it to the stairway quite quickly. His heart fell when he saw the stairs were half covered with burning logs already. But he knew there wasn’t any other way out. He had to risk it this way. He shifted Gracie to his wounded shoulder so she’d be closer to the wall and bit his lower lip to try and distract himself from the pain in his chest.

“Don’t open your eyes, Gracie,” he said and started his descent down the stairs.

His eyes started to water because of all the smoke in the house and he felt his lungs were filling with it too. As he was making his way down he was trying not to cough. He felt the heat on his back and sweat all over his body.

When he finally made it down to the ground floor, he looked at the door and his heart filled with dread. The door was completely buried under the burning pieces of wood. Another escape route burned down in flames. Literally. He started desperately looking around the room, searching for the possible exit. Finally he saw the opportunity in closed window on the far left side of the foyer. He made his way towards the window and reached towards it to open it.

He was getting weaker, Gracie’s weight was pulling him down to the ground. He lifted her up a bit to gain more support and that’s when he realized her grip on his neck loosened. She was completely limp and Jesus froze momentarily. He wasn’t sure what to do now. But the only thought in his mind was telling him not give up.

He gritted his teeth and pulled open the window with one swift movement. He felt his stitches tearing but he didn’t mind that. He put Gracie out of the window, carefully lowering her to the ground. Then he climbed out too, quickly scanning the grounds to assess the situation.

He saw Enid nearby, shooting at the walkers crowding the entry to the Hilltop. He called on her and she immediately ran towards them. When she saw Gracie on the ground she handed Jesus her gun and said: “Don’t let anyone kill me.”

“Not a prob–,” Jesus started but his lungs called for attention as he started to cough intensively, feeling the rest of his stiches loosening and breaking. His vision got blurred momentarily and he thought he’s going to faint, but then he composed himself and aimed the gun at the nearby walker. He felt the warmth of blood seeping through his shirt where his wound was, but he knew that right now he had bigger problems.

He stood in front of Enid who started to give Gracie CPR and shielded them both with his body. He shot few times taking out couple of walkers. And he realized the walkers weren’t the ordinary bunch, as one of them launched towards him with a knife. It was them… that dammed Whisperers. Jesus cursed under his breath and swiftly ducked, then blew his head off.

“Go easy on me, guys,” he breathed out heavily. “I’m still recovering from the last time I faced you, assheads.”

He shot few more of them, walkers and Whisperers too, when he started to feel like he wasn’t going to be able to stand up for very much longer. That’s when Marco suddenly showed up next to him, dispatching few of the walkers himself.

“I’ve got this,” he said over his shoulder towards Jesus.

Jesus sighed with relief, turning back to Enid, feeling his head spinning again. The last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was Enid still trying to revive Gracie. And Gracie was lying there, pale as a sheet, gripping her bunny in one hand with painful stiffness, the book lying next to her on the other side.


	7. Aaron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The events of the "Whisperers war" are still hugely inspired by the comics.
> 
> Also, the fluff is starting, folks, you have been warned :D

       Aaron was fighting off the walkers and the insane clan of people wearing walker skin masks, trying to get through the wooden gates of Hilltop. He wasn’t paying attention to the heat coming of everything around him, as one of the communities was burning to the ground. He had one goal in his mind, to get to his daughter and make sure she was alright. He smashed through the skulls of few walkers, using his prosthetic arm to block their clumsy attacks. A skin mask wearing weirdo launched towards him with a knife but Aaron was quicker and threw his own knife right into the heart of his enemy. He sprinted towards the dead body and took back his knife, moments before he was swarmed by more walkers. He fought his way out successfully, making his way closer to Barrington House. He saw Jesus fighting off the dead ones, Enid next to him. He started to run towards them but then he noticed a small figure with filthy blond hair lying on the ground and he halted. His heart skipped a beat for a moment as he recognized it was his daughter, lying lifeless on the cold ground. He felt his knees giving in as he fell to the ground, feeling the tears streaming down his face. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, he thought.

Aaron bolted upright in his bed, breathing heavily. His t-shirt was soaked with sweat and he felt the dampness all over the mattress. He put his knees to his chest and cradled them with his right arm, bowing his head and sobbing softly.

It was ten days from the attack at Hilltop, ten days since the Hilltopers came to Alexandria, exhausted and at the end of their tethers. He still couldn’t believe what happened there, Whisperers burning the whole Hilltop to the ground. The losses they suffered were too great. But he was selfishly thankful he didn’t lose neither Gracie, nor Jesus. He didn’t think he could get over losing any of them.

He finally got himself together, the emotions of the dream washing away along with the tears that soaked his t-shirt. He looked around the room, searching for the sleeping bag on the floor. Gracie demanded to sleep in his room for the last couple of nights, worried that something might happen again. She was troubled by nightmares about that night almost everyday, much like him, and Aaron felt guilty about that. He was always out there, trying to protect her from whatever threat was looming over them, but in the end he still failed. He replayed the events as Enid told them to him over and over in his mind, questioning if anything would be different if he stayed at Hilltop. His only job was to protect his daughter. And in the end, he couldn’t even do that.

He rubbed his eyes and got up from the bed. When he walked towards the sleeping back and realized it was empty, an uneasy feeling got better of him. He made his way towards the hallway and aimed it to Gracie’s room. He knew she didn’t have any reason to go there in the middle of the night, but that was the only place he thought she could be. As he was walking through the hallway, his eyes adjusting to the darkness in the house, he passed the guest room and noticed the door was ajar. He furrowed his brows and made a few steps towards the room. He was careful because he knew there was a loose floor board nearby and he knew how much of a light sleeper their guest was. He stepped over the place he knew would creak and walked quietly into the bedroom.

 

When Hilltopers came to Alexandria, Aaron and the rest have just arrived themselves, trying to redirect the herd that was on their way to break through their community. They managed to redirect them to the ocean before most of them reached the walls of Alexandria. The ones that got in though made a bit of a rampage. There was a lot of work that have needed to be done in the next days and all the people helped as much as they could. It was sad that what brought the communities back together in the end was a terrible tragedy, but it was what it was.

Siddiq and Enid had lots of work, dealing with burns, scratches, and other injuries. Siddiq redone Jesus’ stitches and told him to take it easy for the next few weeks. Of course, that didn’t make the stubborn little ninja very happy. Aaron offered him a place in his house, knowing he and Gracie had too much space for themselves anyway, and knowing his house was the closest to the clinic, in case of any emergency. Jesus fussed a bit about Aaron overreacting and being too protective of him, but he accepted the offer anyway. Since then, Jesus was sleeping in their guest room, all three of them living in weird domestic harmony. Gracie demanded for Jesus to read to her every night as she fell asleep in her sleeping bag next to Aaron’s bed. And Jesus was recovering slowly, sometimes a bit moody and agitated because he wasn’t able to get out there, but always setting these feelings aside when Gracie ran towards him with book in one hand and her stuffed bunny in the other.

 

Aaron stood in the room and watched the two figures on the small bed, being curled up one to another. His heart ached with all the love he felt in that moment, as he watched the two people he cherished most in the world calmly asleep in the arms of one another. Jesus was on his back, an open book lying on his chest, slowly rising and falling with the regularity of his breathing. Gracie was curled up to his side, her stuffed toy tucked under her chin. She had her hand over Jesus’ belly, her little hand hidden under Jesus’ bigger one.

Aaron made his way towards the bed. He carefully took the book from Jesus’ chest and looked it over. _And Tango Makes Three_ , read the title and Aaron had to smile to himself. Gracie was walking around with this book ever since they came here from Hilltop, never letting it go. He still didn’t know what was it about or why was it so special to her, but he was planning on skimming through it when he’d got a chance. Not this night though, he thought. He had a difficult day ahead of him and he needed his rest, as much as he could get.

He put the book on the bedside table and looked at the duo on the bed again. He smiled softly and bent over. He brushed a stray hair from Gracie’s face and kissed her softly on the forehead. The he straightened up, faltering for a moment. Before he could think about it, his hand reached out towards Jesus, pushing a stray hair out of his face too. He lingered for a moment, tips of his fingers softly touching Jesus’ face.

“Goodnight,” he whispered, before he pulled his hand back and turned to go back to his room.

 

       When Aaron woke up that morning, the sun was already up. He turned in his bed and rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of sleep. He heard quiet noises from downstairs, smiling to himself when he pictured Jesus and Gracie shuffling around the kitchen, making a huge mess. He got up and went to the bathroom, rinsing his face with cold water. Then he put on his prosthetic arm and descended the stairs, making his way into the kitchen.

He halted in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and watched as Gracie stood on the two-step ladder, watching Jesus intently. She was still wearing her pajama, toy bunny in her left hand. Jesus was bent over the counter, carefully putting something on the plates. His hair was pulled up in a messy top knot and he was dressed in clothes Aaron lent him. A baggy sweatpants that Jesus needed to roll up at least three times so he wouldn’t stumble over them, and a loose tank-top that was nicely complimenting his sinewy but muscular arms. Aaron noticed a piece of bandage peeked out of the tank-top as Jesus reached to grab something Aaron couldn’t see. His heart ached when he remembered how close he was to loosing this man.

“Can you make animals too?” Gracie asked, looking up at Jesus.

“Hm… I can try next time… but I don’t think it would look much like animals… this hardly looks like a heart,” Jesus chuckled softly.

“I think it’s the intention that counts, not the result,” Gracie said proudly, pointing at something out of Aaron’s sight. “Give there more of these,” she said.

“Shouldn’t you go and wake your father up?” Jesus asked, glancing briefly at little girl.

“I don’t know,” Gracie seemed to be really thinking about it. “He’s hardly sleeping these days. I want him to get as much rest as possible.”

“Uh-hm,” Jesus hummed.

“Maybe he just needs someone to read to him and cuddle him like I do. That would make him sleep better.”

“It sure would,” Jesus laughed heartily and Aaron couldn’t help but chuckle a bit too.

Gracie immediately turned when she heard the sound and she jumped down of the stool ladder in one swift move, racing towards Aaron.

“Hi, daddy!” she exclaimed as she threw herself around Aaron’s neck, Aaron leaning down slightly to catch her and bring her up to his arms.

Jesus turned, plate full of pancakes and fresh fruit from their community garden in his hand, and with a cheeky smile he said: “Yeah, hi, daddy.”

Aaron’s face turned to bright red in the record time and he stood there for a while, his mouth open. He wanted to say something, but no words were forming, so he closed his mouth again, looking anywhere but at Jesus.

“We made you the heart shaped pancakes, daddy,” Gracie said, resting her head on his shoulder.

Aaron was finally able to move and so he did, making his way towards the kitchen table, putting Gracie down to sit on one of the chairs.

“You did?” he asked, sitting down.

Gracie sat next to him and nodded eagerly.

“Yes… to show you how much we love you,” she grinned and looked up at Jesus.

Aaron followed her gaze, his eyes lingering on the smaller man. Jesus’ eyes met with Aaron’s, and he seemed to blush slightly too, when he realized what Gracie just said. Then he smirked and shrugged, averting his eyes before he put the plate of pancakes in front of Aaron.

They all dug into the hearty meal, enjoying every bite and each other’s company. When they finished their breakfast, Gracie walked up to Aaron and hugged him from the side.

“Be careful out there, daddy,” she said.

“I will,” Aaron smiled and closed his eyes momentarily, enjoying the embrace his daughter gave him. He loved her so much and he hated leaving her behind again, but he had his duties. The neighborhood was still full of groups of walkers that needed to be eliminated or they might become a huge security risk for Alexandria. And they had to scout the surroundings for any Whisperers that might still be lurking around.

“I promise I will stop going out so frequently after this,” Aaron said, looking into his daughter’s eyes.

Gracie smiled at him, her little hand coming up to cup his cheek. “It’s ok daddy. Jesus promised he would teach me to defend myself when he’ll be able to start landing kicks again,” she glanced at Jesus and smirked, “… his words, not mine.”

Aaron smiled a bit, amused at her words, but his smile faded quickly, as he said, his voice solemn: “The thing is. You shouldn’t have to, sweetheart. It’s my job to protect you.”

“I know,” Gracie said. “And I want to make that job easier for you.” she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, then scurried away to prepare for her day of school.

Aaron was sitting there, deep in his thoughts, only partially being aware of Jesus, who was still in the room, putting the plates and utensils on one pile to rinse them later. He fully noticed the other man only when Jesus spoke to him, and that’s when Aaron blinked and noticed Jesus was already sitting back at the table, opposite of him.

“Sorry?” Aaron asked, focusing on Jesus.

“I asked if you think you killed all of them last time.” Jesus said, his voice slightly concerned.

Aaron sighed and shook his head, fixing his gaze on his hand, resting on the table. He found it difficult looking at Jesus. He felt guilty and a bit hypocritical that he wanted Jesus to stay behind, not straining himself, not even doing any heavy jobs around the community, when he himself was risking his life everyday behind the walls of Alexandria.

“Well, they didn’t attack us since that last battle when we met them in the fields. And that was over a week ago. I feel like, that if they were still out there, lurking, they would already attack.” Aaron sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I mean, they didn’t have any restrains burning Hilltop to the ground, right?” he looked up to meet Jesus’ gaze. “I feel like the herd they sent to attack here was their last resort. Otherwise they would do something already.”

“Yeah,” Jesus said, nodding. “I guess you’re right.”

“Still,” Aaron said, his eyes momentarily traveling towards the doorway, expecting Gracie to show up any minute. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

Jesus gave him a faint smile. “She’ll be alright. She’s strong and brave.” He fell silent for a while, then added: “Just like her father.”

Aaron felt the heat coming up to his cheeks again and he cleared his throat to say something. “I uhm,” he started, not really sure how to continue. “So you planning to start landing kicks anytime soon?” he finally got out if himself, slapping himself mentally for being so awkward around Jesus for the last couple of days.

Jesus send him a disarming smile and Aaron was glad he was still sitting, because he felt his knees getting weak.

“Not any time soon I guess.” Jesus laughed. “But yeah. I’d like to get back out there sometimes. Even back to our training sessions, maybe?”

Aaron looked at him, dumbfounded. The last couple of weeks were so hectic he completely forgot about their private time outside the communities. Now, that Jesus mentioned it again, all the feelings of carelessness and freedom that surged through him when the two of them were sparring in the woods came flooding back.

“Yeah,” Aaron said, with a huge smile. “I’d like that.”

Jesus returned the gesture and their eyes locked. The long haired man reached out and the tips of his fingers gently brushed the back of Aaron’s hand, resting on the table. Aaron’s mouth got dry and suddenly he was extremely aware of everything around him. But what he was the most aware of, was the proximity of the other man, and the moment of tension that lingered between them. Aaron opened his mouth to say something, when Gracie’s voice sounded from upstairs:

“DADDY!” she shouted. “I CAN’T FIND MY MATHS BOOK!”

Aaron was thrown back to the reality, the fleetingness of the moment disappearing entirely.

“I uh,” he said, standing up and breaking the contact between his and Jesus’ hand. “I should go up and help her. Actually… I should be going out too already.”

“Yeah,” Jesus said, standing up to finish cleaning up the kitchen. “Yeah, you should.”

Aaron gave the other man a final look, indecisively standing next to the table for a brief moment. He felt like he should say something more, but whatever moment there was between them, it was gone now. He turned around and went upstairs to help his daughter.


	8. Jesus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is monster of a chapter - it's super long and it's basically a huge roller coaster - so much is happening here. Let's just say Jesus has a lot on his mind.
> 
> Anyway, there are some swear words in this, just a fair warning.  
> Now I'm not sure if I should up the rating because of it or not :-?

       “Are you ready, Gracie?” Jesus called out from the hallway as he was lacing up his boots.

Gracie stomped down the stairway, stopping at the last step.

“Do I really have to go?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

Jesus glanced at her and seeing her annoyed look he couldn’t suppress a light laugh.

“What?” Gracie said defensively. “This place got almost destroyed just few days ago. We kids need to process stuff.”

Jesus laughed again: “You really shouldn’t be reading so many books, Gracie. You’re getting too smart for me.”

“Oh, so you’d like me better street smart than book smart?” she asked, tilting her head a bit in anticipation.

“Wow,” Jesus chuckled. “You woke up on sassy side of bed today, didn’t you?”

“I just want to spend the day with you,” she pouted, coming off the last step and closer to him.

Jesus knelt down to level with her and he looked her in the eyes. “And I’d like nothing more than to spend the whole day with you, sweet pea, but school is important. And if your daddy would find out I let you skip the school when he was out, well… let’s say not even Siddiq would stich me up. Which reminds me, I have an appointment too.” He ruffled her hair and gave her a hug.

Gracie sighed heavily and rolled her eyes again. “Ok. I’ll do it then. But just because I don’t want daddy to be angry with you.”

“Thank you,” Jesus smiled and made a heart with his fingers, putting them over his chest.

Gracie chuckled. “You’re silly.”

Jesus stood up with a bit of difficulty and shrugged. “I know, but you like it,” he smiled and stretched his hand for Gracie to hold as they walked out of the house.

 

       After Jesus dropped Gracie at school he aimed it to the clinic for his appointment with Siddiq. When he walked in, Siddiq was just cleaning the floor, deep in thoughts.

“Don’t you have nurses for that?” Jesus asked as he approached the dark haired man.

Siddiq looked up from the floor and smiled widely. “Is it that time already? Hello, Jesus.”

He motioned him to sit on the examination bed and went to put away the broom.

“It actually helps me think. That’s why I’m doing it,” he said as he made his way towards the cabinet and started to rummage through it.

“How are you today?” he asked over his shoulder as he was pulling out tools from the drawer.

“Well, the shoulder is still a bit stiff. And it’s hard to move sometimes. But I think it hurts less now.” Jesus said as he proceeded to take off his shirt.

“Uh-huh,” Siddiq said, deeply in thoughts, as he made his way towards his patient. “I’m gonna look at it first, but I think we might pull out the stiches already. You’ve had them long enough. It should be healed properly now.”

“Really?” Jesus said, not able to hide his contentment.

“Now don’t get very hopeful.” Siddiq said resolutely as he worked on unwrapping Jesus’ arm from the bandage. “You’re still not allowed to do any strenuous activity or any sudden movements. But I think in few days we might be able to start physical therapy.”

Siddiq proceeded to take out the stitches and examined the exact length Jesus was able to move his arm without it hurting too much. Afterwards he gave him an ointment he prepared and told him to apply it on the wound every evening before bed.

Jesus left the place somewhat happier that his stitches were out, though he still felt quite frustrated it will still take a long time until he’ll get to his previous strength – if he’ll ever be able to.

He went to Aaron’s house and up to the guest room. He put the ointment on the bedside table and sat on the bed. He didn’t like being in this house all alone. It was way too big for one person and way too quiet. He wondered how was Aaron able to live in here all by himself for so long after Eric died. He looked at the nightstand and took a book from it. He hoped reading will distract him from that silence.

It was maybe two hours later when Jesus started to realize he was reading the same page for about tenth time already. When he tried to remember what happened in the book in the last couple of pages, he realized he couldn’t tell. His mind was anywhere but in the book. He closed it and stared at the wall for a while. His mind was circling back to Aaron, being out there. He knew there was probably no immediate danger out there right now. But you never could be careful enough, as Jesus learned hard way. All it takes is one bad move, one unguarded moment, and… Jesus couldn’t finish the thought. He turned to put the book away and that was the moment he noticed Gracie’s book on the nightstand too. He smiled to himself.

 

Gracie came to him last night with her faithful companion, the bunny, in one hand and the book in the other. She told him she had a nightmare about that fire again and she didn’t want to wake Aaron up. She knew he also had nightmares sometimes and knew he’s supposed to go out next day, so she didn’t want to wake him up for no reason. Jesus listened to her and then told her she’s not alone. He confided in her, that he also sometimes has nightmares about that night when he got stabbed. And he knows how it feels to suddenly wake up in the night, not being sure if you’re still dreaming or not. She asked him what helps him to fall asleep again and Jesus smiled at her. He told her that usually he has hard time falling asleep after that, but that’s why he has a book always ready at the nightstand. He reads, to come to different thoughts and to put his mind at ease. Gracie smiled back at him, asking, if he’ll read to her.

In the last week Jesus read Gracie her favorite book at least five times, but she always wanted to hear it again and again. And Jesus complied, although he found it difficult to read certain parts. It was painfully obvious why this book was Gracie’s favorite. It showed what Gracie wanted to have – a family. And when Jesus was reading to her about those two penguins, taking care of their little daughter, he couldn’t stop himself from seeing himself, Aaron, and Gracie as them. And then, when Gracie was soundly asleep in his arms, he always found himself staring into the ceiling and thinking about it for a long time.

The thoughts about family came almost effortlessly when he thought about Aaron and Gracie, but was he really ready for this? He cared for both of them, very deeply. But it also scared him. What if something happened to Aaron out there? Was _he_ going to take of Gracie then? Jesus was never great in relationships and the thought of actually settling down never even crossed his mind. Having a kid to take care of, that was something he never even considered. But Gracie, he really liked her. And if there was one thing he never really wanted to do, it was to hurt her.

But what about Aaron? He cared for the taller man, maybe more than he wanted to admit. And he knew Aaron cared for him too. But he never really figured out if Aaron wanted to be just friends with him or something more. If he was even prepared to be something more. Sure, it was almost eight years since Eric died, but they were together for more than that. Jesus couldn’t even fathom the amount of commitment that must have been in their relationship. He was never in long-term serious relationship before. But when he thought of Aaron, he could easily picture them together, even few years down the path.

It took some time, but Jesus fell asleep that night eventually and this time his dreams were rather nice.

 

Jesus woke up from his immersion and became aware of the daunting silence in the house again. He felt like he couldn’t spend any more time in there. He needed fresh air, a change of scenery. He got up and as he was about to leave the room, his eyes landed on his knives, resting in the sheath on the dresser. He didn’t use them for so long, he felt like he might not even remember how to use them properly.

He walked towards the dresser, touching the knives lightly. He missed it. Missed being out there, being useful. Ever since the accident he felt completely useless. And being cocooned by everyone and not being able to go behind the walls was just adding to his already gloomy mood.

He took the sheath and strapped it around his waist, feeling his frustration waving slightly. He felt more like himself with them on. And although he wasn’t planning on going anywhere behind the walls, no one could forbid him to have them.

He got out of the house and started walking, deep in thoughts, not really paying attention to where he was going. And that’s how he got to the front gate without even planning to go there.

He saw a young man he didn’t know standing guard on the wall, his gaze firmly fixed on the outside of the community. Jesus would give anything for going outside but he knew he wouldn’t be able to persuade the guy and he absolutely wasn’t in state of sneaking around him.

“You’re here to relieve me of duty?” young man on the wall called out to him and when Jesus looked up, he noticed the guy was looking at him.

Jesus stood there for a moment and then said, before he could think it through: “Yeah, sure.” He hoped it sounded nonchalantly.

“You’re early.” the guy on the wall said, furrowing his brows a bit.

Jesus shrugged. “I’m done with my duties for the day. Thought you might like few minutes for yourself.”

Young man’s face lit up. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it. I have a big date tonight and I’m kinda nervous.” He was already halfway down the steps that led to the top of the wall.

Jesus smiled. “Yeah, don’t mention it.”

When the guy stepped down, he walked towards Jesus and handed him the spear. “Thanks, really,” he said, huge smile on his face.

“Sure,” Jesus returned the gesture. “And good luck on your date.”

“Thanks,” guy called over his shoulder as he was already making his way towards the center of Alexandria.

“Well, that was easy,” Jesus said to himself as he started to make his way up the stairs to the top of the wall.

The view was amazing. He might not think so on any other day, but right now, it felt like the most breathtaking view he has ever seen. The long winding road, open fields and blue sky was mesmerizing. Jesus pictured himself out there, riding a horse without a destination in his mind and a small smile appeared on his lips. He closed his eyes and felt the slightly cold breeze wash over his face and ruffle his hair. He could see himself out there, fighting again, swinging and kicking, doing what he knew best. He was so immersed in his thoughts he didn’t hear the person coming up the stairs.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not the person I’m supposed to relieve of watch duty,” a woman’s voice said and Jesus’ eyes darted towards her. She looked fierce and hardened by the world and her eyes hid lots of secrets and for a moment Jesus wished she told him all of them.

“Hey, you’re Jesus, right?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded warily.

“I’m Magna,” she extended her hand. “I don’t think we actually met officially yet.”

He shook her hand and finally composed himself. “Right, nice to meet you, Magna. Tara told me about you and your group. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to meet with you sooner.”

“I’m sure you had bigger issues,” she said, her eyes glancing to his shoulder. “How is it?”

“Better,” Jesus said. “Siddiq just took my stitches out. It would’ve been done sooner if it wasn’t for the fire at Hilltop.”

“Yeah,” she said, averting her eyes and looking out at the distance. “Sorry about that. It’s always hard, losing your home.”

Jesus followed her gaze, not saying anything. She knew what she was talking about. Tara told him Magna and her group were living on the road for this whole time. For more than 10 years now. He couldn’t even imagine how traumatic that must have been.

“Well,” he said, “I don’t have a say in this community, but you’re always welcome at Hilltop, as long as you want to.”

She looked at him again, her eyes searching. “You mean, you want to rebuild?”

“Of course,” Jesus smiled. “It is our home after all. It’s always worth fighting for.”

Magna’s eyes softened a bit and a small, almost unnoticeable smile appeared on her face. Then she averted her eyes again and said, her voice not more than a whisper: “Thanks.”

They were standing there for a while in silence, both of them just watching the country, immersed in their own thoughts. The silence was finally broken by Magna. “So, what are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be resting or something?”

Jesus groaned and rolled his eyes. “Please don’t. I’m sick of resting. I just…” he sighed, “I guess I needed a change of scenery.”

“I get it,” she said. “I saw you fighting back there, at the cemetery. You seemed unstoppable.” she looked at him, her gaze changing to a sympathetic look.

‘Yeah, maybe not so unstoppable.‘ Jesus thought to himself.

“It must be weird for you, being cut off for so long.” she said.

“Yeah,” Jesus only said, contemplating. “I mean, I’m trying my best, because of Aaron and Gracie, but sometimes… sometimes I’m just so fed up with everything...” he trailed off.

“You’re lucky to have a family like them,” Magna said.

“It’s not…,” Jesus started, stopping himself momentarily. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say. “Me and Aaron are just friends.” he said finally.

Magna scoffed. “You sure about that? Guy’s overly protective of you.”

Jesus felt a blush creeping to his cheeks and he averted his head from Magna. “Yeah, tell me about that,” he smirked.

Group of people appeared behind them in the distance, deeply in conversation. Jesus glanced at them and then at Magna.

“Where’re they going?”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about them. They’re going to fix the wall from the outside. It got weakened when the herd approached the place, so it has to be supported again.”

“Oh,” Jesus said, looking at the group approaching the gate. “Shouldn’t we go out with them? In case a wandering roamer attacks?”

Magna eyed him carefully for a moment. “I guess I could stop you pretty easily right now. But I know how it feels to be trapped inside the walls.” she gave him a small smile and shrugged. “Guess we’re going for a little stroll.”

Jesus grinned widely and followed Magna down the stairs. He decided he really liked her already.

They waited for the group to come to the gate and told them they’ll be going with them for protection. Jesus new some of the people, but most of them he saw for the first time. It struck him, how really isolated the communities have been for the last six years and he was glad it was starting to change again. They opened the gate and walked out of Alexandria.

They made their way to the spot where the wall was weakened, all they needed for the repairs was already there, as they prepared for work day before. They started with their work, Magna and Jesus carefully eyeing the surroundings. The group was making a bit of a noise as the hammers were hitting the panels they were trying to reinforce. It didn’t take long and few roamers showed up. First it was just three of them and Jesus and Magna got rid of them pretty easily. But then another six showed up and Jesus and Magna shared and uneasy look. They split the roamers equally, trying to get them as far from the group as possible. Jesus kicked the first in the head effortlessly, its rotten skull giving in right away and the walker fell to the ground like the sack of potatoes. But then the two remaining ones were joined by one of Magna’s roamers and Jesus was suddenly surrounded.

He was holding one of his long knives in his right hand, but he realized he’s going to need both of them. The other knife was still in his belt, at his left side. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this but there was no other choice. He reached for the knife with his left hand, the surge of pain shooting through his arm and chest. He gritted his teeth and took out the knife, kicking the approaching walker in the chest to gain a distance between them. He stuck a knife to the skull of a walker behind him and turned around swiftly, swinging his left arm to deliver a killing stab. But the sharp pain in his shoulder overcame him and he cursed, dropping his knife.

The walker was dangerously close now and Jesus was trying to fight off the feeling of sickness that surged in his stomach. The walker launched at him, his rotten hands reaching towards his shoulder. Jesus tried to dodge the walker but he tripped, falling down on his side. He already saw the walker on him in his mind, when its head was pierced with a long spear. Before Jesus could react, Magna was at his side, pulling out the spear from walker’s head and expertly disposing of the last one. Then she turned around hastily, breathing heavily.

“You ok?” she frowned and Jesus nodded slightly, trying to get up on his own to no avail.

“Here, let me help you,” she said, reaching towards him. Jesus took her hand and let her help him, feeling both thankful and embarrassed at the same time.

He was about to say something, but Magna shook her head. “Don’t,” she said. “It happens to the best of us.” Then she clasped him on the good shoulder and smiled slightly. “That’s what we have now, right? Only each other to rely on.”

“Yeah,” Jesus returned her smile.

“Come on now,” she said. “I’ll escort you to the gate, you shouldn’t be here for any longer.”

“What about them?” Jesus looked over at the workers who stopped working momentarily and were watching the fight, prepared to jump in if needed.

Magna picked up Jesus’ fallen knife and then looked over the group of workers. She called for the one that looked the most capable and handed her the knife.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she said. “You think you can handle taking care of a roamer or two if they show up?”

The young woman, though seemingly scared, swallowed hard and nodded.

“Okay,” Magna reciprocated the gesture and turned back to Jesus.

She helped him get to the gate, opened it for him and made sure he was ok before sending him home.

 

       Jesus made his way towards the house and got to the kitchen. The pain wasn’t so intesne anymore, but the arm still hurt like a bitch. He found a towel in the cabinet and soaked it in the cold water. Then he wrung it out and put it under his shirt and on his shoulder. He made his way towards the living room and flopped on the couch.

The action in front of the walls of Alexandria completely exhausted him. When he saw the walkers approaching, he felt the rush of adrenaline coursing his veins and he felt the spark of joy of getting up and fighting again. But the joy soon changed into bewilderment when he realized his reflexes weren’t as great as they used to be and his energy was draining fast. He was too stubborn to admit it before, but Siddiq was right. He wasn’t prepared to get out there yet. He knew that. And that filled him with frustration again.

He was lying on the couch, relaxing, his eyes closed. He might have even dozed off momentarily, he wasn’t sure. When he came to his senses again, he noticed the towel slipped from under his shirt and was now lying on the floor. He moved to pick it up, when he heard the front door slam loudly. He immediately got up, forgetting about his arm for a moment and the pain came calling again. His right hand shot up to clutch at his left arm as he stood up from the couch, making his way towards the hallway. But he stopped when he saw Aaron barging in the living room, his face on fire.

“What the hell do you think you were doing out there?” Aaron almost shouted, stopping about a foot away from Jesus.

Jesus, taken aback slightly, took a step backwards. “Wait, how do you…?”

“We were just coming back so I saw you outside the walls. Would you even tell me, if I didn’t?”

Jesus felt the anger and frustration swell up in him and he raised his right index finger to point at Aaron’s chest. “Why won’t you just back off of me, God dammit?” he said through gritted teeth. “It’s always just ‘you can’t do this, you can’t do that’… I’m not your fucking daughter.”

Aaron was speechless for a moment, looking coldly at Jesus. The he retored: “You’re right you’re not. Because she actually listens to me when I ask her not to do something.”

Jesus sat back down, feeling his energy draining off of him again. He closed his eyes and muttered, more to himself than to Aaron: “How would you even know if you’re barely here?”

That was a low blow and Jesus knew it. When he looked back up at Aaron, he saw the hurt in his eyes and for a moment he wanted to just take it all back. But it was too late.

“You know why I keep leaving,” Aaron said through his teeth.

“Sure, to protect her and whatever.” Jesus muttered, feeling the anger fueling him once again. “And how will you protect her when you’ll be lying dead somewhere in the woods? Or better yet, when you’ll be rotting away, chasing for the brains?”

“I can handle myself out there.” Aaron said defensively, then added, quietly: “Not like someone I know.”

Although Aaron almost whispered the last part, it didn’t escape Jesus’ attention. He shot up and glared at Aaron: “What does that mean?” he lashed out.

“Nothing,” Aaron muttered.

“Cause last time I remember it was me training _your_ ass. So I’d say I can handle myself too.” Jesus said, pacing around the room.

“Didn’t look like it from what I saw today,” Aaron said with a smirk.

Jesus’ face turned red, this time though not from the anger, but embarrassment. “Fuck you,” he muttered. “You think you know best? Maybe I should just get out of your hair then. We’ll see who will take care of your daughter when you’ll decide to go on another suicide mission.“

Jesus made few steps, intending to get past Aaron and out of the living room, when the taller man grabbed him by the arm.

“Paul, wait.”

And Jesus stopped. It was weird, hearing Aaron saying his real name. His heart clenched and his stomach flipped. He wasn’t able to look at the other man. He just stood there, not sure what to do now.

“That’s not what I want.” Aaron said.

Jesus swallowed hard, tilting his head a bit, but still not able to look into Aaron’s eyes. He fixed his gaze on Aaron’s shoulders and said, quietly: “What do you want then?”

“I… just…” Aaron stuttered, seemingly struggling with words.

Jesus felt his heart fell. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “That’s what I thought.” he turned and walked out of the living room, aiming it for the front door.

Part of him was still angry with Aaron, the other part was hoping Aaron will say something and stop him. But he was already at the door and Aaron still didn’t say or do anything. He put his hand on the doorknob, faltering for a moment, giving the other man one last chance. There were two people fighting in his mind right now. Both wanted for Aaron to do something. One would feel the relief and would apologize for letting his emotions get hold of him. The other would feel the sick satisfaction of knowing Aaron cares, but would choose to leave anyway. Jesus hated this part of himself, this stubborn ego of his. It was the eventual downfall of his every relationship. This, and not being able to open up to people. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He walked out of the door and into the sunny early afternoon.

When Jesus walked out of the house and onto the paved road, he stopped and looked around. Where was he going to go? The only thing he knew was that he couldn’t go back inside. He wasn’t sure what else would he be able to say to Aaron. And seeing the hurt on his face moments ago was enough for Jesus to feel guilty for the rest of the day.

As he was just standing there, contemplating, his irritation with the other man slowly faded away. And as the strong emotions of anger and exasperation faded, Jesus started to notice other things he previously pushed back in his mind. His arm hurt, a lot; way more than when he came back to the house after the incident. He looked to his left and saw the infirmary building not far from him. He closed his eyes momentarily and thought about his options.

Going to the clinic would mean swallowing his pride and admitting he made a mistake going out today. Not going would mean, well, he didn’t know, he wasn’t the doctor after all. All he knew was that his arm and left side of his chest hurt like it didn’t for a long time and although he was proud, he wasn’t foolish. He sighed deeply and turned to walk towards the building.

 

       When Jesus finally walked out of the infirmary, it was about an hour later. Siddiq didn’t yell, nor scolded him, but Jesus would be happier if he did. He knew he deserved it. And the disappointed look Siddiq gave him was somehow way worse than any yelling he could do. In that moment he felt like a little kid that disobeyed his parents.

Siddiq did every test possible to discover if anything serious was damaged, but it seemed like everything was fine. Siddiq’s conclusion was, that Jesus just pulled his muscles, but luckily, didn’t tear them. He gave him some painkillers and bandaged his shoulder to keep it fixed. He made it clear that he was not supposed to, in any circumstances, use his arm for any prolonged period of time or any strenuous activity. He also told him to come back for check-up next morning and threatened him with house arrest if another incident like that was going to occur. Jesus reassured Siddiq nothing like that was going to happen again and this time he meant it. It was still hard for him, being boxed in behind the walls, but he figured that the sooner he‘ll get better the sooner he can go back out.

Jesus was deeply in thoughts, walking automatically, not paying attention where. He was doing this a lot these days. But at least he was able to walk by himself finally. He still remembered the time, not so long ago, when he wasn’t able to walk around the room without supporting himself with the furniture or someone else’s weight. When he thought about it, it seemed like an eternity ago, yet it was only about two weeks in the past. With this rate of heeling, he might be able to go out again in a month or two, he thought to himself, putting his hopes up again a bit.

“What are you doing here again?” Jesus heard the woman’s voice and when he looked around he realized he was at the front gates again. Magna was standing up at the guard post, looking down at him.

He shrugged and said: “Would you believe me if I say I missed you?”

Magna laughed and waved her hand: “Come up here, you charmer.”

Jesus smiled slightly and made his way up to where Magna was. They stood over the walls of Alexandria, just like few hours ago.

“How’s the arm?” Magna asked as they were both staring in the distance.

“Could be worse,” Jesus said. “But I need to be more careful in the future.”

Magna glanced at him, quickly scanning his expression. Then she looked back into the distance, falling silent for a moment. When Jesus didn’t seem to be picking up the conversation, she said, matter-of-factly: “You want to tell me the real reason you’re here?”

“No,” Jesus said, almost immediately.

“Ok,” Magna shrugged and continued with her silent staring into the distance.

They were just standing there for quite a while, both of them completely silent. Then, out of nowhere, Jesus said:

“I’ve had a fight with Aaron.”

Magna quirked her brow. “Your _friend_ , Aaron?”

Jesus looked at her, noticing the implication she made, but she kept her stare on the road. He looked ahead of him too, falling silent for a while again.

“He just won’t stop mollycoddling me. It’s…. it’s infuriating. He acts like I’m completely incapable of taking care of myself.” he said, feeling the anger swell up in him again.

“He’s overprotective, huh?” Magna said.

“Overprotective is a mild understatement. If he could, he’d probably follow me 24/7 just to make sure I’m ok.”

“Why doesn’t he?”

“Cause he’s a fucking hypocrite.” Jesus muttered, needing a moment to collect his thoughts. “He’s acting like I’m the most reckless person in the world, getting up from the bed and going down the flight of stairs. But he’s always out there, risking his life… and for what?”

“You’d like to be out there instead of him?” Magna looked at him, her gaze searching.

Jesus sighed. “It’s not that. I… yeah, sure I miss being out there and sometimes I’d love to step outside these walls. But… I’d gladly stay behind if I had a reason to stay. But him… he’s acting like it’s his only choice to go out there, but it’s him who has the biggest reason to stay behind. He has daughter who depends on him. What if…” he trailed off.

“What if he didn’t come back one day?” Magna finished.

Jesus averted his eyes from her firm gaze. He was trying to avoid this question for such a long time but he now realized it was always at the back of his mind. What if Aaron wouldn’t come back one day? What would that mean for him?

“You know,” he started. “I’ve always been a disaster in relationships. My longest one lasted for three months.”

Magna smiled. “You and me both, friend.” she turned to look at him fully and waited for him to look her in the eyes. “You know how I made my longest relationship to work?”

Jesus looked at her, curiosity in his eyes. Magna smirked. “I found the person who was foolish enough to want to spend her best years with such an idiot as me. And true, there are still moments I look at her and wonder how can she love such a stubborn son of a bitch as me and how can she put up with me when sometimes even I can’t put up with myself.”

“How does she?” Jesus asked, almost whispering, hanging at every word.

Magna shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. And let me tell you, I’m not the religious person. But I thank God every night for putting her in my path and to her for loving me so damn much it hurts sometimes. Because I don’t know if I would survive even a day in this world without her.”

Jesus’s heart clenched. He knew how he felt about Aaron, he knew for a long time already. But he was afraid to admit it. Because it scared him. How easily and how fast he fell for the other man. And how he felt like he doesn’t need to keep his guard up around him. It was so different from any other guy he‘s been with before and Jesus was afraid to lose it… to lose Aaron.

Magna must have seen the mix of emotions in his face, because the next thing she said was: “My watch ends in a minute. Would you like to come for a diner to my place? You can meet the saint of a woman who’s putting up with me for more than a decade now. And maybe she’ll give you some insight of what’s it like.” she smirked and patted Jesus on his good shoulder.

Jesus gave her a weak smile and thought it through. He definitely didn’t feel like confronting Aaron right now. Plus he knew Gracie will be home already. And he definitely didn’t want to face her wrath.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, his smile widening.

 

       Dinner at Magna’s place was great. All of Magna’s group was there and Jesus was glad he could finally meet them properly. He even got his old ASL skills to a good use when talking to Connie. Sure, he was a bit rusty, after all, the last time he used sign language was before the outbreak, when a deaf kid enlisted in his martial arts school. He didn’t want to disappoint the kid and refuse his application, so he accepted him and over time he learned the sign language to better communicate with him. The kid was so enthusiastic about martial arts and Jesus‘ approach, that he told about it in his support community and soon Jesus was teaching martial arts to a whole class of deaf kids. He loved those kids so much though. They were extremely disciplined and sometimes it seemed like they had even better reflexes than him. He wondered where they were now, if they were still alive.

After dinner he stayed and helped them to clean up. They were all so welcoming and easy to talk to, that Jesus forgot about his problems for a while. No-one even mentioned Aaron, or Jesus’s injury or anything else that could turn the conversation to that direction, until Jesus started it himself. He was putting away the plates, only him and Yumiko alone in the kitchen. The rest of them were in the living room, setting up some board game. Jesus just put away the sauce pan and then turned to Yumiko, who just rinsed the last plate.

“So,” he started, a bit nervously. “You and Magna… you’ve been together even before?”

Yumiko smiled sweetly at him and dried off the plate before putting it into the cabinet. “Yeah,” she said. “We’ve been dating for a year before the world went to shit.”

“And you’ve stayed together even after?” Jesus said, trying not to sound too prying.

“Magna was always a bit reserved, even before. And she was still half in the closet… her dad, you know…” she trailed off momentarily. He nodded in understanding. He never had to deal with homophobic parents himself, but he did thought about it a lot; how would they react if they’d still be alive around the time he discovered he wasn’t like the most of the boys.

“Anyway,” Yumiko continued. “I knew even back then I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So, when the end of the world came, there wasn’t anything to stop us anymore, no dick of a father, or any laws preventing us to get married, you know what I mean. We could be ourselves.”

She turned and leaned against the counter, crossing her hands at her chest. She smirked slightly: “I know it sounds like bullshit. The world needs to end for us to feel free.” she laughed lightly.

“It’s… not,” Jesus said, quietly. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, averting his gaze momentarily to look at his boots.

“How did you know?” he looked back up at her, mustering his courage. “That you want to spend your life with her?”

Yumiko smiled at him again, reaching with one hand to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly.

“When you can’t imagine living without them, that’s when you know.”

Jesus’ gaze wavered and he averted his eyes again, not sure how to continue the conversation.

“Honestly, one would say you two are already a couple,” Yumiko chuckled slightly, punching him playfully in his good shoulder.

Jesus’s cheeks immediately turned red and he shot gaze at her, his mouth ajar. “How… why?” he stuttered.

Yumiko smirked. “I’ve been on few missions with Aaron and the others and he practically can’t stop talking about you. It’s either you, or Gracie.”

Jesus felt the heat in his cheeks increasing, when Kelly’s voice sounded from another room. “Guys, where are you for so long?”

Yumiko shot an amused look at Jesus before she proceeded to walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. Jesus needed a moment to compose himself, before he was able to join the others.

 

       When Jesus left Magna’s house that night, it was already around midnight. He walked around Alexandria for a while, just breathing in the cool night air. But he knew he had to go back sooner or later and so eventually his steps led him in front of Aaron’s house. Jesus sighed with relief when he saw all the light in the house were off. He was concerned Aaron might still be up but it seemed like he wasn’t. Jesus opened the door and made his way up to the guest room, quietly as a shadow. He stepped inside and stayed at the door for a while, until his eyes got used to darkness inside the room. When he was positive he can navigate himself around without bumping into the furniture, he made his way towards the bed. When he got closer though, he stopped in his tracks, taken aback slightly. There was something on his bed, a tiny lump in the middle of the covers. He came closer, trying to figure out what the thing was. When he was close enough, he realized what the small lump was and his heart clenched.

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath. He reached towards the stuffed bunny that was sitting on his bed, his fingers traced over the soft material of its fur. When he picked it up, a small book that was previously supported by the bunny fell over and Jesus noticed a piece of paper slipping out. He took it and went to the window, to read the note in the moonlight.

 

_To keep you company._

_-G_

_P.S. I am mad at you though, don’t think I’m not._

_P.S.S. You owe me for one night of not reading to me._

_P.S.S.S. You can start to make it up by making peace with daddy._

 

Jesus was reading the note over and over again. He felt bad before, but knowing he disappointed Gracie made him feel even worse. Back then he didn’t even think about how his argument with Aaron might affect her. He wasn’t used to this, this domestic dynamics. His eyes fell on the bed again and on the book she left for him. He knew what she was trying to say to him by giving him the book. But he was too cowardly to go and make one little girl’s dream true.

That night Jesus didn’t sleep much. He was lying on his back, the book laid out on his chest, the stuffed bunny in his right hand. He was looking up at the ceiling, replaying the events of the day in his mind. He was stupid and he was wrong. But it wasn’t all just his fault. Little voice in the back of his head, a voice he hated, kept telling him it was as much of Aaron’s fault as his. And why should he be the first to apologize?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have mentioned this in two chapters before at least, but I keep forgetting. The book that Gracie loves so much is "And Tango Makes Three" and it's a kids' book about two male penguins in NY ZOO who start a family and raise a small penguin baby. So yeah, Aaron, Jesus, and Gracie are basically little cute penguins, and frankly, aren't they? :D


	9. Aaron

       Aaron was sitting at the kitchen table, picking at his scrambled eggs. Gracie was sitting next to him, eating her breakfast and rambling away about school and how today they’re going to have their first bow shooting lesson with Yumiko. Aaron was only half listening to her, his mind racing back to the argument he had with Jesus the previous day. He didn’t see the other man since he walked out of the door, but thanks to closed door to the guest room he knew he came back during the night.

“Are you still mad at him?” Gracie asked suddenly, pulling Aaron out of his own thoughts.

Aaron looked at his daughter for a moment, not answering. He could see it really bothered her.

 

When Gracie came home yesterday and saw the mood Aaron was in, she immediately realized something was wrong. Aaron tried to act normal around her, but he knew she had to see the difference. And the worst was yet to come in the evening. Aaron offered to read for her before sleep but the moment she saw her favorite book in his hands, her eyes watered. Aaron didn’t understand why, he didn’t know what he did wrong, but it seemed like by trying to get close to her, he drove her away. She snatched the book right out of his hand and ran to her room, calling over her shoulder that tonight she’ll be sleeping there. Aaron was dumbfounded. He tried and went to her, opening the door slightly, but what he saw broke his heart. Gracie was lying on her bed, face down, sobbing in the pillow, book thrown on the floor at the side of her bed. He made his way towards her, sitting on the bed slowly.

‘Gracie,’ he said, what’s going on?’

‘Go away, dad,’ she muttered into her pillow.

Aaron felt a sharp pain in his chest. This was the first time she seemed to be uninterested in his affections. He always knew how to cheer her up when she felt down. Always knew what to do. But now she didn’t want him in her presence and Aaron was at loss for words.

‘Is there something I can do to make it better?’ he said, unsurely.

Gracie looked up from her pillow, her eyes red and filled with tears. The look she gave Aaron was full of hurt and disillusion.

‘Can you make him come back?’ she said, choking back her tears.

Another bolt of pain stung Aaron’s heart and he felt his eyes filling with tears too. ‘Gracie, I…’ he started, but fell silent as he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know where Jesus was right now, or if he was planning to come back. He wished he knew, just so he didn’t need to lie to Gracie.

‘He’ll come back, sweetheart, you’ll see.’ he said, hoping he sounded more convinced that he felt. He hated lying to his daughter. But he hated breaking her heart even more. And giving her hope, even if it was a fool’s hope, seemed somehow better than shattering her dreams completely.

She wiped her tears, a hopeful look on her face. ‘You sure about that?’

Aaron closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing hard. There was no turning back now. ‘Yeah, I’m sure.’ he said, smiling gently at her. So it turned out he could go full eight years without telling a merciful lie to his daughter. How awesome.

Gracie returned his smile and scrambled to him, hugging him tightly. Aaron immediately pulled her close, stroking her hair.

‘Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?’ he asked.

Gracie disengaged from the hug and studied Aaron’s face for a while. Her eyes were still red from crying, but she seemed better now. ‘I think I’ll sleep here.’

Aaron nodded, though it hurt him a bit. He was proud at his daughter for handling the situation so well. But he wasn’t sure how he is going to handle it. Her company would definitely help him get some rest during night.

 

“Dad?” Gracie said, her brows furrowed slightly.

“Sorry… what was the question?” Aaron composed himself.

“Are you still mad at him?”

Aaron looked down at his unfinished breakfast. His eggs had to be cold by now. “I’m not.” he said. “And I… I never was… mad at him… I was just… worried.”

“He came back, you know? Just as you said he would.” Gracie smiled sweetly and Aaron couldn’t help but return the gesture.

“I know.” he said.

“Are you going to talk to him?” she asked, her voice hopeful.

“I am,” Aaron said, adding quickly: “Eventually… but now I have to get you to school, honey bunny.”

Gracie rolled her eyes in grand gesture. “I guess I’ll go, but just because we have that bow shooting lesson today.”

Aaron laughed lightly: “Like you have a choice, young lady.”

Gracie gave him a cheeky smirk and stood up to clean up her plate.

 

       After Aaron dropped Gracie off at school, he made his way to the meeting hall, where the council was supposed to meet for a debriefing of yesterday’s mission. After the formalities were said, they finally got to the main point of the meeting. Aaron, being the leader of yesterday’s mission, was supposed to give his report to Michonne and others.

“Yesterday I and eight other people went out to scout for the remains of the group named Whisperers.” he started. “Amongst others, there was also Yumiko, who is from the group of newcomers as you may know and she volunteered to help us with this mission. She also helped us many other times during the period of time she and her group were accommodated here. Other people from her group, namely Magna, Kelly, Connie and Luke also helped us not only during missions, but they are also trying to help as much as they can with day to day tasks behind the walls. I just want to emphasize this so the council shall take a notice this group is indeed earning their keep.”

Michonne’s face was unreadable, but Aaron didn’t let himself get intimidated. He knew Michonne still wasn’t exactly fond of these newcomers and the fact that they were back in Alexandria now didn’t make her feel any fonder of them.

“Scouts were divided into three-man groups and we scouted the immediate area of five miles radius from the community walls. No Whisperers have been found. We suspect, if there are any left, they are scattered and leaderless. We do not anticipate any other attack from them. We did stumble upon two herds of walkers though, which we successfully redirected towards the ocean. I personally think these were the biggest remnants of the heard we redirected two weeks ago. But, just to be on the safe side, we should occasionally send out scouts to check out if another herd is not forming in the close proximity of the community. The mission was successful, with no casualties. That’ll be all from me.”

Michonne nodded formally and proceeded to talk about the continuations of building operations and the conditions of their stocks. The presence of inhabitants of Hilltop was straining the food reserves and they were all aware of this problem. The council meeting continued for another two hours, before they were able to break down all the problems Alexandria was facing.

The meeting got drawn out, as it always got and usually Aaron was ok with that. But today he had a watch duty and he was already late. He was supposed to relieve Marco and he knew the young lad would not make a fuss about him being late, but Aaron didn’t like to be unreliable. He was walking fast towards the gate, when he heard someone jogging after him. He turned and noticed Siddiq gaining on him. Aaron slowed down momentarily, questioning look on his face.

“Aaron,” Siddiq said as he caught up with him. “Sorry to bother you but I wanted to talk to you before you go for your watch duty.”

“That’s ok, doc,” Aaron said. “As long as we can talk while walking. I’m already late as it is.”

“Sure. I’m heading that way anyway.” Siddiq said.

They started walking, Siddiq trying to line up with Aaron’s swift pace. “I just wanted to make sure Jesus is alright.”

Aaron’s eyebrows quirked up, but he tried not to let the doctor know what was really going on in his mind right now. “Uhm, I believe he’s fine.” Aaron said, as convincing as possible. “I mean, his arm hurts a lot but I think he’s getting better.”

“Yeah, he is, he came to visit me yesterday,” Siddiq said and Aaron glanced at him, a bit surprised. He assumed Jesus will go to see Siddiq eventually, but he was a bit surprised he went there straight away, considering his stubbornness.

“And he came for a check-up this morning.” Siddiq continued, “It’s just a pulled muscle, so it’s not that serious. I’m sure he told you. But I’d like you to keep an eye on him. You know how he is; he can get really frustrated with doing nothing very quickly. I’d rather him not doing any other stunts like the one yesterday.”

Aaron sighed slightly. “Yeah, me too.” he said more to himself then to Siddiq. Then he glanced at the other man and said: “Don’t worry, doc. I’ll keep an eye on him; two eyes as long as I can spare them. Is there anything else I can do to help?”

Siddiq furrowed his brows briefly. “Well, you can also make sure he puts his ointment on the wound every evening. It’s not gonna help him heal any faster, but it might relieve some of the pain and it’ll make the swelling go down sooner.”

“Sure,” Aaron nodded and gave the other man a small smile. “Thank you, Siddiq. For taking care of him.”

Siddiq returned his smile. “I believe you’re doing most of the job.”

And with that Siddiq and Aaron parted their ways. Aaron got to the gate, immersed in his own thoughts. He made a brief apology to Marco, who, as he expected didn’t mind at all, understanding Aaron’s obligations to the council, and he made his way up the stairs to start his watch duty.

Aaron was lucky this day was really uneventful, because he probably wouldn’t notice if the herd of elephants rushed through the gate. His mind kept coming back to the fight he had with Jesus and to everything that led to it and everything that happened after. He might have been a bit harsh yesterday. He knew now, that maybe he shouldn’t told Jesus off so sternly, but when they pulled up their horses at the top of the hill yesterday and he saw Jesus, fighting those walkers next to the wall of Alexandria, he was so distraught he couldn’t move for a moment. For a split of a second it seemed like the walker was going to bite Jesus, just before Magna came and saved him from the imminent doom. And in that split of a moment the worst images flooded Aaron’s mind.

He pictured Jesus in the bed, weakened by the fever, his hand cold on Aaron’s warm one, his eyes far away and blank as the long haired man was slowly fading away. Man once so full of life and love, now just a blank, pale vessel for a rotten creature. It reminded him of how he looked back then, during those three never-ending weeks he was lying unconscious at Hilltop’s infirmary. And everything Aaron felt when he was sitting next to him and desperately praying for him to wake up, came flooding back. He was angry at those skin wearing freaks, he felt useless, because he knew there was nothing he could do to make Jesus feel better. But most of all, he felt guilty. Because if he stayed by Jesus’ side that night, if he didn’t believe other man’s self-assured stance, if he didn’t leave him there to deal with those creatures by himself, he would be here with him now. But Aaron didn’t do any of it. And so the only thing that was left for him to do was to sit there and thing about everything that could have been and won’t be, everything they could have had, gone.

When he thought about it now, he realized _that_ was the moment that he knew. The moment, when he realized, that if he was ever going to find love in the apocalypse again, it was going to be with Jesus.

Aaron was so immersed in his thoughts he didn’t even realized when his time ran out. Suddenly Julianne, a young girl who lived in the house not far from his, turned up for her watch duty. Aaron stood there for a while, confused. Did really so much time already pass? He felt like he’s just got up there. He shook his head, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. It would be probably for the better if he just went home and tried to think about something else.

 

       Aaron walked into his house, noticing it was way too quiet. Gracie was supposed to come back any minute now and that made Aaron feel a bit better. He got used to living in this house without Eric a long time ago, but he never got used to being completely alone in it. Gracie was a welcomed distraction when Eric died, keeping Aaron busy, not making him dwell on the loss of his partner. He was supposed to take her to Hilltop, make someone else take care of her. But the more time he spend with her, the stronger he felt about her. She wasn’t just a way of redirecting his grief though. He found out, very soon, that he indeed loved her and wanted nothing more but to protect her and give her life worth living. He and Eric spoke about kids few times. They even started to seriously contemplate the thought of adopting just before the shit hit the fan. Since then though, Aaron didn’t even thought about this. He would never picture himself being a dad in this world, especially not without Eric. But here he was, waiting for his daughter to come back from school, eager to hear all the new stuff she learned today and all the new experiences she gained.

He walked towards the living room, intending to just lie down for a bit. He didn’t get much sleep last night, his racing mind keeping him awake almost all night. He walked to the sofa and noticed Gracie’s book was set on the coffee table in front of it. He frowned and reached towards it. Did she leave it there before they left for school today? He did not remember. He sat down and looked over the book. _And Tango Makes Three_. Did she try to tell him something with this book? He opened it and started to read. When he was done with the first third of the book he stopped suddenly, a realization dawning on him.

“Oh, Gracie,” he muttered to himself. The message was loud and clear now. If only it was so simple, he thought to himself.

He was about to continue to read when he heard the front door opening. His first thought was, it must be Gracie, coming back from school. He put the open book on the coffee table, face down, and stood up to go and greet his daughter. When he turned though, he saw Jesus standing indecisively in the doorway.

“Oh, hey,” Aaron said, a bit surprised. “I, uh, thought you were Gracie.”

“She’s not home yet?” Jesus asked.

“No.”

“Uh, ok. I guess that’s for the best.” Jesus said, walking towards the couch. “I… wanted to talk to you… alone.”

Aaron, suddenly nervous, motioned for the shorter man to sit down and he did the same.

Jesus faltered, his eyes landing on the open book on the table. Then he sat down on the couch, next to Aaron. He fixed his gaze on his hands rather than on Aaron.

Aaron figured the other man didn’t know where to start, so he tried to start up the conversation instead: “Where have you been?” he asked, slapping himself mentally right away. He hoped he didn’t sound too nosy.

Jesus’ eyes shot up to him briefly, before he returned his gaze to his hands. “I went to see Siddiq.” he said quietly. “Then I was helping Magna and Enid in the garden, planting new medical plants.”

He looked up to Aaron again, quickly adding. “Don’t worry. I was mostly just handing them things. It’s hard to do something with only one hand anyway.”

Aaron laughed lightly. “Tell me about it.”

Jesus’ shot him a confused look before he understood his implication and laughed too. “Sorry, didn’t mean to…”

“That’s ok,” Aaron waved him off.

“So,” Jesus turned serious, his gaze falling on the book on the coffee table. “About the other day.”

Aaron tilted his head slightly, giving the signal he was listening. He felt the strong urge to take Jesus’ hand, but he resisted, waiting for the other man to say what he needed to say.

Jesus pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, his brows furrowing. “I’m just… I’m sorry.” he said, urgently. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I…” he sighed and looked at Aaron. “I’d like to say I didn’t mean them… but I did. I was stupid, I know that now. And stubborn. And just overall idiot…” he chuckled, then averted his eyes from Aaron again. He closed them for a brief moment and took a deep breath before he spoke again. “I’m just… not used to someone being worried about me.”

Aaron couldn’t help it anymore. He reached out and touched Jesus’ hand gently. The bright blue eyes met his and Aaron’s heart skipped a beat.

“You’ll have to get used to it then, cause I don’t want to lose you, you idiot,” Aaron said with a soft smile. “Or get close to losing you, ever again.”

He felt his eyes stinging a bit as the tears started to swell up in them. Just the thought of losing Jesus was too much for him. He averted his eyes momentarily, trying to compose himself. Jesus’ hand found its way to his cheek, cupping it gently and wiping away a stray tear.

Aaron smiled and leaned into the touch. “I’m sorry too,” he said. “I feel like I overreacted yesterday. I shouldn’t have said those things to you, especially since you were right about me leaving constantly.”

“You had good reason to leave,” Jesus said gently.

Aaron locked his eyes with Jesus’, his face earnest. “And now I have good reason to stay,” he said and leaned in to close the distance between them.

Jesus’s lips were soft and the kiss was gentle and sweet, just like Aaron pictured it would be. His hand travelled to the back of Jesus’ neck as the taller man pulled the other closer and deepened the kiss. Yeah. He definitely had a good reason to stay.

After what felt like eternity, the two men broke their kiss, resting their foreheads against each other. They both smiled gently, not speaking, just enjoying the embrace.

The sweet moment was suddenly disturbed by the all too familiar voice.

“Hi daddies,” Gracie said and both of them jumped a bit as they disengaged from each other, aghast.

Gracie was standing in the doorway with huge, satisfied grin on her face, Yumiko next to her, smiling slightly.

“I’m sorry,” Yumiko said. “We‘ve knocked but…” she trailed off.

Both men looked shortly at each other and turned completely red.

“Uhm,” Aaron started and he tried to get up, but he bumped into the coffee table, almost turning it over. He quickly captured and steadied it, then turned back to face Gracie and Yumiko. If nothing else, at least it gave him time for the initial embarrassment to wear off.

“I uh, thank you for bringing Gracie back.” Aaron got out of himself then. “Didn’t realize it was already this late.”

“The school ended quite a while ago,” Yumiko said. “But we had that bow shooting class today and Gracie was very eager student. She wanted to stay late and practice some more. So I thought I should walk her home after.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Aaron said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Gracie was still just standing there, looking them over, her grin even wider. Aaron blushed again when he saw the pure joy on his daughter’s face.

“I should go then,” Yumiko said, gesturing towards the hallway. “See you around?”

“Yeah, see you.” both men said in unison.

When Yumiko left, Gracie ran towards Aaron and hugged his waist tightly.

“Took you long enough,” she mumbled into Aaron’s belly, then disengaged and proceeded to hug Jesus too.

Two men looked at each other and laughed heartily.

“We’re sorry for the delay,” Jesus said and ruffled Gracie’s hair.

Aaron looked at the two of them and the warm feeling filled his heart. This place started to feel like home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did blatantly stole Ross Marquand's quote from Talking Dead, but it was such a cute quote I had to incorporate it! ♥  
> Also, slipped in some Gandalf quote too :D I wonder if any of you noticed? ;)


	10. Aaron & Jesus

       It was evening that very same day and Aaron and Gracie were preparing Aaron’s bed for the sleepover. Jesus was downstairs, cleaning up the kitchen from the mess they made when they were making dinner. Gracie talked Aaron into all of them sleeping in one bed tonight, Jesus reading to both of them. She said that maybe it’ll help Aaron with his nightmares and though Aaron suspected her motives where slightly different, he didn’t have the heart to turn her down. So here they were, trying to figure out how all three of them and Gracie’s stuffed toys were  going to cram in Aaron’s bed. In the end, they made a compromise. Gracie could take one stuffed toy with her to bed, the rest of them would have to watch them from the dresser. When they were done, Aaron sent Gracie to get changed into her pajama and get washed up. He went to do the same, aiming to the bathroom.

 

       Jesus put away the last plate and wiped his forehead. He loved cooking with Gracie but boy, did they make a mess every time. He made his way up the stairs, a soft smile playing on his lips. He aimed it to the guest room and changed into the sweat pants. He took a tank-top he was using as pajama top and an ointment he was given by Siddiq and aimed it to Aaron’s room. His arm still hurt a bit and it felt quite stiff, but Siddiq’s painkillers were doing miracles. He hoped that after he’ll put an ointment on it it’ll hurt even less. But it was hard to apply it by himself, since he couldn’t reach on his back. As he was making his way towards Aaron’s bedroom, he could hear Gracie, softly humming in her room and smiled gently. He got to like that little girl in the record time, but frankly, what was there not to like? She was smart and fierce, brave and stubborn, and really sassy sometimes. Guess she learned all the best stuff from her dad.

Jesus stepped into the master bedroom and looked around. There was no-one there but he saw a dim light of an oil lamp coming out of the bathroom. He made it to the bathroom just to see Aaron starting to unstrap his prosthetic arm. Jesus closed the door and turned to the other man.

“You need a hand?” he asked, then chuckled softly afterwards. “Sorry, didn’t mean it like that.”

Aaron laughed lightly too. “S’okay.”

Jesus put the tank-top and ointment on the nearby basin, then made few steps towards the taller man and gently put his hands on the prosthetics. “Let me,” he said softly.

He noticed Aaron got a bit stiff and he frowned, looking up at the taller man. “Is this ok?” he asked, a bit confused.

“Yeah,” Aaron sighed. “I’m just…” he trailed off, closing his eyes momentarily. “I’m still a bit self-conscious about my stump. I try not to show it off to anyone if possible.”

Jesus cupped Aaron’s cheek gently and waited for the other man to look at him. When Aaron did, Jesus smiled softly. “You are absolutely beautiful Aaron, inside and out. And in my eyes, nothing’s going to change that.”

He leaned in and kissed Aaron gently on the lips. When he broke the kiss, he caressed Aaron’s bearded cheek with his thumb.

“May I?” he asked and Aaron nodded.

Jesus proceeded to unbuckle the straps of Aaron’s prosthetics and took it off, putting it on the laundry basket. Then he looked at it, gently rubbing Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron leaned in to the touch and relaxed.

“Thank you,” he breathed out.

Jesus smiled and placed another quick kiss on Aaron’s lips. Then he leaned back and turned around. He took the ointment and turned back to Aaron.

“Siddiq gave me this to put on my wound. Do you mind?” he raised his brows.

“Yeah, sure,” Aaron said. “You’ll have to give me a hand though,” he looked at his stump and shrugged, chuckling softly.

Jesus gave him an amused look and opened up the ointment with ease. Then he put it down on the basin and proceeded to take off his shirt. He winced in pain slightly, as he moved his left hand, trying to get it out of the sleeve. Aaron immediately asked if he was ok, his voice full of concern.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Jesus waved him off and took the ointment when he was done. He noticed Aaron staring at him and he felt a blush creeping up his face. Suddenly he felt rather shy. Not that he was ever ashamed of his body. He was in great shape, even for the postapocalyptic world. But the way Aaron looked at him, with mixture of desire, protectiveness, warmth, and love, made Jesus shiver.

Aaron’s eyes travelled up to the place on Jesus’ chest where his wound was and he reached up, his fingers gently stroking the scarred tissue.

“Hey,” Jesus said, his hand moving to Aaron’s hair, gently stroking his curls.

Aaron looked up, his eyes meeting with Jesus’ and Jesus‘ heart clenched. The sadness in Aaron’s eyes was so deep it caught Jesus off guard for a moment. Then, with his free hand he took Aaron‘s wrist gently moved it to his chest, placing it over his heart.

“I’m here, do you feel it?” he said quietly. “And I’m not leaving you, ever again, you understand?”

Aaron closed his eyes and nodded, tears forming at his closed eyelids. Jesus leaned in and kissed Aaron gently, resting his forehead against Aaron’s.

Aaron opened his eyes and smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It just. It reminded me of that night.”

“I know,” Jesus said, stroking his hair gently. “But it’s ok. I’m fine now.”

“I know,” Aaron said, leaning in for a short kiss again.

The moment was ended when a loud knock sounded from behind them.

“Are you guys kissing there again?” Gracie’s muffled voice sounded from behind the door and it made both men laugh easily.

“We’ll be right there,” Aaron called out, looking apologetically at Jesus. ‘Sorry,’ he mouthed and Jesus chuckled, shrugging and mouthing ‘kids’ in response.

Aaron quickly put the ointment on Jesus’s wound from both sides and helped the shorter man put the tank-top on. Then he walked out of the bathroom, leaving Jesus to comb his hair and finish getting ready for bed.

When Jesus walked out of the bathroom with oil lamp in his hand Gracie was already sprawled out on Aaron’s bed, her stuffed bunny in one hand, a book in the other. Aaron lied on his left side, his stump under the pillow, his right hand thrown protectively over Gracie. She was nuzzling into his embrace, trying to find the most comfortable position.

Jesus put the oil lamp on the bedside table and lied on his back on the right side of the bed, taking the book in his hands. He asked Aaron where he ended reading this afternoon and opened the book on the relevant page. He glanced over Aaron and Gracie, smiling gently, before he returned his gaze to the book and started to read. After a few minutes he got to Gracie’s favorite part.

“Suddenly a tiny hole appeared in the egg’s shell. And then… CRAAAACK! Out came their very own baby! She had fuzzy white feathers and a funny black beak. Now Roy and Silo were fathers. ‘We’ll call her Tango,’ Mr. Gramzay decided, ‘because it takes two to make a Tango.’ Roy and Silo taught Tango how to sing for them when she was hungry. They fed her food from their beaks. They snuggled her in their nest at night. Tango was the very first penguin in the zoo to have two daddies.”

 

       Aaron was resting, his eyes closed, listening to Jesus’ soft voice. “At night the three penguins returned to their nest. There they snuggled together and, like all the other penguins in the penguin house, and all the other animals in the zoo, and all the families in the big city around them, they went to sleep.”

He heard the soft thud of a book being closed and then felt the bed move slightly as Jesus put the book on the bedside table. He opened his eyes just to see Jesus turning on his right side, facing him. He smiled when he saw the long haired man looking at him.

“I know now why this book is Gracie’s favorite,” Aaron said, with a smile.

Jesus’ lips quirked and he glanced down at Gracie, soundly sleeping between them. He reached out and entwined his and Aaron’s fingers, both of their hands resting on Gracie’s small body.

“Paul?” Aaron said and Jesus looked up to meet his eyes. Aaron’s heart skipped a beat when he saw the deep blue eyes looking up at him lovingly.

“I need to tell you something,” Aaron said.

Jesus furrowed his brows slightly and Aaron squeezed his hand a little, to reassure him everything was alright.

“When Eric died,” Aaron said quietly, “it really took it out of me. I… never thought I’m going to look at anyone else that way again.”

He rubbed his thumb against Jesus’ hand gently and smiled. “Then I got to know you better. And we became friends. And then, I didn’t even noticed at first but suddenly I realized… my feelings for you grew stronger.”

Aaron took a deep breath and glanced at Gracie, her chest rising and falling with even breaths. Then he looked back at Jesus.

“I know you haven’t been in many serious relationships. That’s why I have to ask. Because you know, this isn’t only about me. I have Gracie to look after and…” his voice trailed off and he closed his eyes, furrowing his brows briefly. This proved to be more difficult than he thought it would be. He forced himself to open his eyes again and looked at the other man lying next to him.

“If we’re going to do this, I need to know it’s going to be serious. Are you ready for this kind of commitment?” Aaron asked.

Jesus‘ eyes flashed to Gracie and then back to Aaron. He was quiet for a moment and for Aaron that moment felt like an eternity. He could hear his heart beating in the quietness of the room and the silence enwrapping them suddenly felt deafening. When Jesus finally spoke, Aaron felt his heart skipping a beat. He didn’t realize until now, how he feared his answer.

Jesus freed his hand from Aaron’s to cup the other man’s cheek. He gently stroked Aaron’s cheek with his thumb, smiling gently at him.

“I already told you Aaron, I’m not leaving you.”

He shifted closer to Aaron and made sure not to wake Gracie up. He placed a gentle kiss on Aaron’s lips, then pulled away, still smiling.

“I love Gracie. And I never want to see her sad because of me and…” he paused for a moment, stroking Aaron’s cheek lightly, “and I think I love you too.”

Aaron’s face lit up. “I love you too.”

 

       Jesus jolted awake in the middle of the night, waking up from the nightmare he had. For a moment he was back there, at the cemetery, but this time it wasn’t him getting stabbed. It was Aaron. He calmed his breath, taking few moments to get in his surroundings. Aaron was ok, it was just a dream. Jesus sighed, thankful he didn’t wake nor Aaron, neither Gracie up.

He looked down at Gracie, calmly laid out between them and stroke her hair gently, smiling softly. Then he looked up at Aaron, sound asleep next to him. He reached out and brushed a stray curl out of Aaron’s forehead. The taller men stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up. Jesus rested his hand on Aaron’s temple lightly, gently stroking his hair.

“Yeah,” he whispered to himself, “I think this one’s going to last…”

**Author's Note:**

> The title (the one in front of the brackets of course) is once again stolen from the song... this time song by Myles Kennedy, which, once again I think fits perfectly to this situation and these two in general.
> 
> Also, I refuse to call their ship Jaaron cause I don't like it. For me, they'll always will be #bigbrasscomputership and will live on in the comics ♥


End file.
